From a friend who wants your best

As a yungerman who went through all the difficulties and more that yeshiva throws at you, I can nevertheless say, Baruch Hashem, that I’m still learning Torah daily.

I discovered at a young age that “Tov l’tzadik, tov l’shcheino” applies to every single situation in our lives.

I was in a large yeshiva and spent three years in zal there. It wasn’t easy, but that’s where I learned the above-mentioned lesson.

When I reached shlichus age and arrived at my makom hashlichus, I felt like I was drowning. The demands of the yeshiva, and the main demand of the Rebbe to be a dugma chaya, mainly through sitting and learning, didn’t really seem to align with everything around me.

But I knew that if I work hard, the arum and atmosphere would be different.

Chassidus teaches us that nothing can conceal the etzem. After all is said and done, it’s all about what lies within you, who you are at the core. You just need to do what you need to do.

Ask yourself how much you were part of making the avir of the yeshiva.

Was the chavrusa next to you talking because you were talking, or were you talking because of the chavrusa next to you?

Be real and be honest, and stop looking for negativity in everything in life. Welcome to the real world. You make it what it is; no one makes it for you. “A chossid macht a sviva” – a chossid creates the environment.

Stop blaming hanhala, stop wasting your time on your phone. Obviously, sometimes an outlet is healthy, but constantly checking every “Jewish site” every few minutes for something new is not going to help you feel better about the situation or about yourself.

You’re a bachur with, I’m sure, many kishronos. Take a sefer and learn. I didn’t always have the same abilities that many of the other bachurim in my shiur or environment had. I struggled in my early yeshiva years, but I chose to connect to Hashem through tremendous exertion in learning, and Baruch Hashem, it worked.

By davening, I didn’t check my phone, which I had in shiur alef zal, just to see if someone sent something new, or if some ridiculous lashon hara group had added something new to the WhatsApp chain. I didn’t associate myself with such things. I’m a yeshiva bachur, and that’s not for me or for the chassidishe yid I want to be.

If I had a problem, I davened it out. I spoke to my mashpia, I spoke to my rov. None of them came looking for me, and many times they pushed me away, but I kept coming back, each time stronger. They all told me the same thing: “Go learn.”

As a bachur in 770, I heard many friends say, “It’s impossible to learn in 770.” I learned in 770 for four years, Baruch Hashem, and I had a very hard time leaving. Some of my best learning happened within the walls of 770. My response to them was, “It’s even harder to learn at home.”

Do yourself a favor. Look inside and ask, “Who am I?”

You have many talents and a long, bright future ahead of you. Kum va’aseh – get up and do something.

Don’t become that person who plops down on the couch with a phone, scrolling endlessly, blaming your wife and kids for not learning.

You’re not learning because you’re on your phone.

You can’t learn with your chavrusa, not because of the chavrusa next to you, but because of your own chavrusa-shaft that’s busy trying to solve all the world’s problems while blaming the Lubavitcher mosdos for not learning.

It’s the sefarim publishers’ fault that this sefer or that sefer isn’t available, while an open sefer is sitting right in front of you.

The Shechinah is on top of you, the mechaber hasefer is across from you, and you’re busy worrying about which sefer Kehos hasn’t published.

“Hanistaros laHashem Elokeinu“, but “haniglos lanu u’levaneinu ad olam.” Our attitude is what will stick with us and carry through to the next generation.

A side note: in my makom hashlichus, we slept for quite a while in a room without a door. And that’s without even mentioning sleeping five or more guys in one room.

The “system” will be fixed when every individual bachur takes responsibility for himself. The only way you end up with clean pants is if you do your own laundry. Are you going to choose to wear dirty pants just because you don’t want to do it yourself, or because you can’t be bothered and want someone else to do it for you?

Your avodah is yours. Your davening is yours. Your hiskashrus is yours. Your obligation to learn Torah is yours. Only you can choose how you connect to the Eibishter.