י״א אלול ה׳תשפ״ו | August 23, 2026
What Do You Want Lubavitch to Be?
“Everything we place before the public tells people something about what Lubavitch is. The deeper question is: What do we want our children to understand when they hear the word ‘Lubavitch,’ and will the next generation see that derech clearly in us?”
By a Lubavitcher yungerman
I hesitated before writing this.
We have good reason to be cautious about taking individual incidents and turning them into public community issues. There is a difference between addressing a concern and putting a person, a family, or an incident under a public spotlight. Not every problem belongs on the front page, and not every disappointment needs to become a public discussion.
What follows is therefore not about a person, a family, or a particular incident. It is about something broader: the responsibility we all share for the standards and image of Lubavitch.
This week I stopped into a Jewish bookstore. Among the new books on display was a biography of a devoted Chassid of the Rebbe, a Jew from whom there is much to learn.
As I looked through the book, however, I was taken aback to see on the cover a very private family photograph, depicting a type of intimacy that, in my opinion, has no place in a public Chabad publication.
I stood there in the store and found myself thinking: How did we get here?
I do not know who made the decision to use that photograph. Perhaps it was the decision of one individual. Perhaps the family members themselves were not even aware that it would be used in this way. I am not interested in assigning blame, and certainly not in judging the people involved.
But the experience raised a question that goes far beyond that particular book.
What do people understand Lubavitch to be when they look at what we put into the public sphere?
A young person growing up in a Chabad home is watching. A young man or woman who will soon, בע”ה, become a parent and educator is watching. Someone who is newly discovering the Rebbe and considering making Lubavitch their home is watching.
They do not see the thousands of private conversations, acts of mesirus nefesh, hours of learning, acts of tzedakah, hiddur mitzvah, and genuine yiras Shamayim that take place every day. They see what is placed before them. And every public presentation communicates something.
The Rebbe often cited the adage about the person who drills a hole in the bottom of the ship and says, “It is my own private space.” In reality, everyone on the ship is affected.
This does not mean that every individual mistake should become a public matter. Quite the opposite. It means that we must recognize the responsibility that comes with living in a community.
We should not define Lubavitch by pointing fingers at individuals. We should define Lubavitch by the standards we ourselves choose to live by and transmit to the next generation.
Lubavitch does not change because of the conduct of one person—or even many people. Lubavitch has always been a beacon of Chassidus, hiskashrus and genuine yiras Shamayim. That is the Lubavitch we received from the Rebbeim, that our predecessors lived, and that we are responsible to pass on.
The question, therefore, is not merely: What is wrong with this particular thing?
The deeper question is: What do we want our children to understand when they hear the word “Lubavitch”?
What does genuine Chabad yiras Shamayim look like?
What does hiddur mitzvah look like?
What does Ahavas Yisroel look like?
What does hiskashrus to the Rebbe look like in the way we conduct ourselves every day?
These are questions for all of us—for כרמי שלי, the vineyard of Chabad.
There is no need to make Lubavitch smaller by focusing on individual failures. We need to make Lubavitch stronger by increasing the light.
Our Rabbonim and Mashpi’im have a vital role to play, but ultimately this belongs to all of us. We need to speak with our children, our teenagers, our young adults and with ourselves about the preciousness of genuine Chassidic living.
We need to teach that Chabad standards are not simply a list of restrictions. They are the expression of who we are.
The more light there is, the less room there is for darkness. The more people who live genuinely according to the ways of Chassidus, the less need there will be to protest conduct that is contrary to the spirit of Lubavitch.
The Rebbe prepared us extensively for the period following Gimmel Tammuz. He expects from us a life of genuine Chassidic conduct, and he has given us the kochos necessary to fulfill that responsibility.
The question is not whether Lubavitch has a derech. The question is whether we will live up to it—and whether the next generation will see that derech clearly in us.
It is in our hands. It is our responsibility. And בע”ה, with the kochos the Rebbe has given us, we will succeed.
COMMENTS
Couldn’t agree more. I was terribly bothered by this book cover, I think it’s a big pirtzah. I understand that burning books is not the way, but it doesn’t give someone the right to publish whatever he wants.
Such a cover would never fly in ANY frum community.
Dovid Deitch was definitely someone from whom we can learn so much from, and this book does not really do justice. Not just the cover, also the content. It paints him in a modern light that is so not him. He was such a kabolas ol’nik, and the books portrays him as a porek ol. The publisher seems to be archiving chassidus into the past….
Thank you to the yungerman who wrote this and to Anash.org for speaking up!
I thought it was very distasteful to Reb Dovid to paint him as a prikas olnik who had no problem with a TV in his house, or shaving because he was a gvir who gave tzedaka.
This is far from the truth! He was a chosid of the highest degree!
His little yetzer horahs did not need to be highlighted for all the world to see anymore than Zaklikowski tzu layngeh yuhr would want us to highlight his after 120. If this is a record of his life– record it and keep it in the family. If this is a tziur you want all of Lubavitch to read and learn a lesson from– be discerning and choose the things that belong being shared with the public.
The many stories of his mesiras nefesh, his tzedaka, his love and care for his family and for another yid, his dedication to Oholei Torah, his decision to ultimately grow a beard…. there’s enough to learn from that would keep me busy for a lifetime. Did I really need to be told the other things? Did I need to be shown the intimate pictures of him or his dear family? Would Reb Dovid have allowed those pictures to be printed in (or on!) a book for all of Lubavitch to see? Well, we can’t ask him. So let’s err on the side of caution.
Sefer shel beinonim was burned for a reason. Chassidim were real people, otherwise it would be impossible to strive to emulate them.
Sefer shel beinonim is here for us to live by. As the Rebbe told Professor Moshe Chalamish that it’s meant for us to practice!
The Beinoni of Tanya is totally devoted to Hashem every moment. That’s what every chossid aspires to and is working towards. That is Chabad! The only ones who burned sefer shel beinonim were misnagdim…
Does that mean that every person we should read about is a Beinenuni? The Tanya is for everyone. For all of us to strive to grow. Dovid Deitsch was that person. He was not the greatest Chassid as some tried to portray him. He was a chassid like many other Lubavitchers, who had a TV in his house which we watched games and sports (like many of us do daily on our phones scrolling), and yet he had shiurim, never looked out of a siddur while davening, cared about others, did mivtzoim in his way, and a family man we should emulate. Before I got Yards of Kindness, Dovid Deitsch was a gvir who helped Oholei Torah, now I believe that he was much more than that.
i think you mean sefer shel tzaddikim.. its obviously been a long time since you opened up a tanya…
and that has nothing to do with the article. there is a difference between not being a a malach and being a mentch.
I did not need to look through the book to see the warmth shining through from the eighty-year-old couple on the cover. But reading the book was life-altering.
These were baalei mesiras nefesh who were not Mendel Futerfas or Itche the Masmid. They did not dress like your typical Lubavitcher. Dovid did not have a beard. Yet they were never told what this article states Lubavitchers are supposed to be. They were embraced. They were considered hoibt chassidim and given great honors because they were seen for their positive choices and for who they were.
This is a book that teaches us much more than we will get from My Gulag Life or A Businessman, A Chassid. This is a book we can relate to: people who were not perfect, but who were always striving to be better.
This is a book we should all read to understand what our youth could become if we would just look at them the way we looked at Dovid “David” and Sara Deitsch: seeing them for their positive choices, embracing them for who they are, and believing in who they can become.
That is the Lubavitch way.
This is a classic mistake to confuse the acceptance of people and celebrating their faults.
Lubavitch accepts people far lower by embracing them and ignoring their faults, not by saying that those faults are okay. As the Rebbe said many times, “אוהב את הבריות ומקרבן לתורה”, bring people closer to Torah but do not lower Lubavitch standards at all (even when it’s not a halachic problem).
By promoting such details, a message is being sent (intentionally or not) that such practices are normal for chassidim. A book is by definition a selection of highlights chosen by the author.
You totally misunderstood what he was saying. A biography is not for you to emulate that person in every way he was. When we speak about Zalman Moshe, do we want are kids to use the words he did? No. It is to understand who people are, where they come from and process it. The same here. We are not looking for a Reb Mendel. This is an every day person, who tried to grow. A truly amazing story, and one that brought me to understand my siblings struggles and to embrace them for who they are, with the hope that they will grow (the same thing we did with Dovid Deitsch, we did not shun him, we respected who he was, and he grew).
The issue is that many Chabad Chasidim have gone far far away from Chabad teachings as the previous Rebbes directions. A modern bunch of colourful bearded, hat wearing men, with no inkling of the penimius of Avoda and Chasidus is not what the Rebbe wanted. To Fabreng is the icing on the ccake of all the Avoda of a Chosid, something that happens after intense learning and Avoda, otherwise its just empty, and this is so evident in so many, particularly in the under 40s. B’H we have grown immensely, but at what cost? We have to be Frummer yidden with burning hearts in Avodah and Yiras Shomayim. A Chosid is title to work to not something you get because you the right beard, hat etc. Lets return to the true Avoda of Chabad, and ignore some of the noise and nonsense.
Didn’t see the book maybe because don’t live in CH, but there are a lot of things that are confusing. We don’t have “morality police” thankfully. Just don’t know what to do about this. Makes it challenging. It’s one thing the onslaught of social media including shomrei shabbos and even chabad influencers. And then there’s AI that takes things all over the place, sometimes in helpful ways and sometimes the opposite. But when the confusion is in a good old fashioned bookstore… challenging. Thanks for letting us at least start the discussion.
This is Chabad of today. Lubavitch magazine printing pictures of women on their cover with tichels. inside women without sheitels… and the truth is that there should not be photos of women there at all. why cant we be like the frum magazines Ami and Mishpacha? why do I need to see fashionabe photos of women around my house?
Whoa! The author simply meant to convey by the jacket-cover the wonderful partnership of chesed of this amazing couple, who wisely leaned on each other through thick and thin. That said, the book can just as easily be sold with its jacket removed. As to the contents: Reb Dovid constantly worked on himself and became more and more chassidish with the passage of time; he continually grew as a chossid and in yirei shomayim. אויף אונז אלע געזאגט!
“אמר רבי יוחנן: ענוותנותו של רבי זכריה בן אבקולס, החריבה את ביתנו, ושרפה את היכלנו, והגליתנו מארצנו.”
the real question is: what does lubavitch stand for?
are we just another chassidus that is into holy things?
are we just a community who lile all other communities we want our standards and culture?
or is chabad different?
is chabad with a mission statement?
and if it is then what is that mission statement?
This is not the first time that this author attacked our sacred way of Chassidus. Just a few months ago, the author published a book with vile criticism of the Rebbe and he refused to apologize for it. I’m shocked that anyone would buy any book of his. As chassidim, we must collectively stand up for the Rebbe’s honor and not support someone who doesn’t respect the Rebbe and Lubavitch.
It isnt the first time.
He unfortunately thinks he’s smarter than the world.
Where are the Rabbonim? How can his books still be sold in CH?
“He was not the greatest Chasid?”
It sounds like we view chasidim like baseball players that can be rated and ranked who is greater. Like there is a status to attain – a great Chasid, the greatest Chasid etc ( similar to the litvish culture but swipe Chasid for Gadol)
When viewing another, every Chasid is the greatest in his inyan, and I have an obligation to learn something from each Chasid.
In viewing myself, today I have to be the greatest chasid I ever was by being a “greater” Chasid then I was yesterday, and tomorrow I have to be the greatest chasid I can be by being a greater Chasid then I am today. The ranking is against myself, not against my class, community, gantz lubavitch vechulu.
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