By Rabbi Moshe Blumberger – Kfar Chabad

Neither my wife nor I have a smartphone. I see people of stature for whom the smartphone serves as a powerful tool in their shlichus and their parnassah. Usually, these are very focused people, with inner strength and fire. But there are others for whom it pulls them out of focus and distracts them from what really matters.

Given this reality, it’s clear to me that a smartphone isn’t right for everyone. Technology is a gift from Hashem, created to help us, but that doesn’t mean a smartphone has to be in everyone’s pocket.

I want to share here part of my own internal dialogue on the question of “smartphone or no smartphone.”

Beyond the personal question each of us should ask ourselves, how should I be using technology? I think we also need to ask ourselves how our choice affects those around us, especially those we’re responsible for.

For example, if I’m a father of eight children, and I estimate that one of them won’t use technology properly, how do I, as a father, help him make the right choice and manage without a smartphone? Do I tell myself that since the other siblings can handle it and allow it, even though this one child won’t be able to withstand it? Or do I take responsibility and do all in my power so that he and his siblings are not put to that test to begin with?

There’s a real problem in the current situation. Many leaders, rabbonim, shluchim, and askanim use a smartphone properly. So for themselves, there’s no felt need for change: “I’m perfectly fine.” But what about their communities? They cannot serve as an example for people for whom a smartphone, even a filtered one, is a bad choice.

Even if they try to guide and direct those people to avoid using a smartphone, their words won’t carry the same weight, because they themselves have one. It’s very hard to influence in this area when you yourself carry a smartphone. And so, for the most part, they settle for recommending or requiring filtering alone.

Wouldn’t it be impactful if a mashpia or a mechaneches would sit with talmidim or talmidos who are struggling and tell them, “I’m with you in this struggle too. I also want a smartphone very much. But the two of us, together, will overcome this desire, no matter how important it feels”?

Most of the arguments in favor of keeping a smartphone are about shlichus and parnassah needs. It follows, then, that until someone actually goes out on shlichus or to work, by every account, a smartphone doesn’t benefit their learning.

It’s sad and almost absurd that chassidishe bochurim, after Zal, go on shlichus and get a smartphone. Why? “To stay in touch with family on WhatsApp.” Does that justify the price?

The reason there’s no outcry, no protest, is that a considerable portion of the rabbonim in yeshiva have smartphones themselves. So the talmid absorbs not the legitimate reasons of shlichus or work, but rather: “For children it’s a problem, but for adults it’s fine.” And so, “I’m already grown up.”

The saddest part is that there’s no attempt to change the situation. It’s simply accepted as a given, something that can’t be changed.

Does anyone doubt that a smartphone doesn’t benefit the yiras shamayim of high school and seminary girls? The responsibility of the menahalos of these schools and seminaries is, above all, for the yiras shamayim of their talmidos. If they see that it isn’t good for the talmidos to have a smartphone at all, they need to do everything possible so the talmidos receive the proper chinuch without needing one.

The reason this battle is seen by many as a “lost war” is that the chinuch staff themselves have smartphones. That’s why they don’t see a real chance to enforce it and go out to fight this battle for the benefit of the talmidos.

I want to look at this from another angle:

We see many people among us who wouldn’t want to carry a smartphone, and do so only “for the sake of their shlichus.” Therefore, anyone whose shlichus is educating talmidim toward yiras shamayim – such as menahalim, teachers, mashpi’im, and so on – needs, for the sake of that very shlichus, to go without a smartphone.

Only that way can they take an active part in influencing those they’re educating on how to use technology properly.

Some argue that since the talmidim will likely end up with a smartphone anyway once they grow up, our job should instead be to teach them to use technology correctly, to set boundaries for them while using it, and so on.

I personally don’t agree with this approach. Chabad, as is known, holds by the approach that the proper preparation for influencing others is first strengthening your own essence, and only once a person has that maturity and inner strength will he be able to influence rather than blend in and lose his own identity in the process of trying to influence others.

In our case, if until the age of 24 or 25 the talmidim and talmidos are immersed in an atmosphere of kedusha, they have a chance to use technology correctly and properly when the time comes. But if they’re exposed to technology at a young age, then later on too, they won’t be in a position of influence.

If there were a physical danger to our children, say, someone on a school’s staff was repeatedly hitting the students, wouldn’t we, as parents, fight to have him removed? Wouldn’t we demand of the school administration, first and foremost, to see to our children’s wellbeing, before any other consideration of “it’s not comfortable”? Physically, we don’t let anyone harm our children. Spiritually?

COVID came along, and our mosdos push screens on us, arguing that distance learning is important and necessary. Excuse me, where are the values of Chassidus here? What’s actually important?

A friend admitted to me that he’s very careful with technology, and for 14 years never brought internet into his home. Until, during COVID, the principal herself called to make sure they’d get it, to ensure each of the children had access to online learning. COVID ended long ago, but the three computers he bought for his children never left.

There are online school assignments, which can make girls feel that only with online access can they succeed in school. Why not the opposite? Why not encourage and initiate as little contact with the internet as possible?

We need to ask the principals of our daughters’ schools: What’s more important, chinuch for yiras shamayim or academic success? What matters more to them, test scores or tznius?

True, we all have yiras shamayim. The question is whether there are other values considered more important that force yiras shamayim to wait its turn.

So, dear principals:

If a CEO sees that for years running his business has been losing money, he understands the failure isn’t a small part of his job. He’s paid to make the business profitable. And if he can’t, he must resign and recommend finding a replacement who can lead the business to profitability.

When a principal notices spiritual decline in his institution – not on the margins, but among the mainstream – shouldn’t that shake him to his core? Before you move on as if nothing happened, go find someone who will actually try to help. Or try to change the situation yourself.

As parents, we need to be brave and change the rules of the game. If we don’t wake up now, the claim of “I’m fine, I only use my smartphone for holy endeavors” will end up harming and damaging the best of our sons and daughters.

Adapted from the Lubavitch monthly.