Before Yom Kippur: A Few Things Worth Remembering

By a fellow community member

There is so much to think about on Erev Yom Kippur that it can be surprisingly easy to forget the simplest things.

There is kaparos, extra tzedakah, asking mechilah, mikvah, the seudos of Erev Yom Kippur, and preparing ourselves for Kol Nidrei and the holiest day of the year.

But alongside all of those preparations are the ordinary, practical ones. Taking care of a few small things beforehand can make the difference between spending Yom Kippur focused on the day itself and spending part of it trying to solve problems that could easily have been avoided.

Prepare properly for the fast

Eating on Erev Yom Kippur is itself a mitzvah, and preparing properly for the fast begins well before the final seudah. Make sure to eat and drink adequately throughout the day rather than trying to make up for everything immediately before the fast begins.

Anyone who takes regular medication, has a medical condition, or has any question about fasting should clarify what to do beforehand. Erev Yom Kippur is the time to ask the necessary questions—not when someone is already weak or unwell in the middle of the fast.

Don’t leave mechilah for the last minute

Erev Yom Kippur has a way of disappearing very quickly.

If there is someone we know we should call, an old misunderstanding that ought to be put to rest, or a family member or friend from whom we need to ask mechilah, it is worth doing it earlier in the day rather than leaving it for the rush before Kol Nidrei.

And especially within the family, asking mechilah need not be limited to the familiar “Are you mochel me?”

Sometimes a more meaningful preparation for Yom Kippur is simply to say: I know I shouldn’t have said that. I know I hurt you. I’m sorry.

Think about the children before the fast begins

For adults, the entire day is organized around Yom Kippur. Younger children still need to eat, drink and get through a long day in which their normal routine has disappeared.

Prepare their food beforehand. Decide who will be with them and when they will come to shul. Think about what they will need during the day.

Older children can be included in the preparations as well—helping with younger siblings, preparing what the family will need, and making sure their own machzorim and appropriate shoes are ready.

A little planning before Yom Kippur can prevent a great deal of unnecessary commotion during Yom Kippur.

Get the little things ready

Nobody wants to discover five minutes before Kol Nidrei that a child’s non-leather shoes have disappeared, the kittel is still packed away somewhere, or something needed for the next day has been left in the wrong place.

Set aside clothing and appropriate footwear. Make sure the kittel and tallis are ready. Check the lights and timers, air conditioning or heat, and prepare whatever younger children will need at home during the fast.

And while making that checklist, remember one particularly easy thing to overlook:

Bring your machzor to shul before Yom Kippur

If you will need your machzor in shul, bring it there before Yom Kippur begins.

The same applies to anything else you or your children will need in shul during Yom Kippur. Carrying outside is prohibited on Yom Kippur, just as on Shabbos, so don’t wait until Yom Kippur morning to discover that the machzor—or something else you need—is still sitting at home.

Before leaving for Kol Nidrei, it may be worthwhile to ask one simple question:

“Is everything we will need tomorrow already where it needs to be?”

And then, stop preparing

There will always be one more thing that could have been done.

But eventually the seudah is finished. The children are arranged. The shoes are ready. The machzor is in shul. The phone is put away.

Yom Kippur has arrived.

Perhaps that is the purpose of all the practical preparation in the first place: to take care of the ordinary things beforehand, so that once the day begins, they no longer demand our attention.

For the next twenty-five hours, there is nowhere else we need to be and nothing else we need to arrange.

We can simply enter Yom Kippur.

Gmar Chasima Tova!