Whose Responsibility is Chinuch?

Following the recent article by Mrs. Chani Wolf on parents’ part in chinuch, one reader shared an eye-opening story of the Rebbe on the role parents play in making school a success.

By Devorah S.

In response to the recent article by Mrs. Chani Wolf on parents’ part in chinuch, I would like to share with your readers this eye-opening story of the Rebbe on the role parents play in making school a success:

Rebbetzin Sima Ashkenazi of Kfar Chabad, wife of the late Kfar Chabad rov, Harav Mordechai Shmuel Ashkenazi a”h, related:

During the yechidus in Tishrei 5729 (1969), something very interesting happened. The Rebbe asked me, “What happened at the meeting with Rabbi Chefer?”

I was working at the seminary, and Rabbi Shmuel Chefer held a meeting and invited the mothers of Kfar Chabad. He had many complaints about the girls, and he blamed the parents for if they spoke more positively about the school and the hanhala, the girls would hear this and behave differently. Naturally, the parents blamed the school and not themselves. Now, the Rebbe was asking me what happened at the meeting where I was present in my role as a teacher.

I faced the Rebbe and the Rebbe looked at the desk and listened. I said that Rabbi Chefer had told the parents that they are to blame for the chinuch of the girls, and the parents… I wanted to say that they claimed the opposite.

I had only said the word, “parents” when the Rebbe looked up and gave me a look and did not allow me to complete the sentence. He said, “Certainly they are at fault! Certainly they are at fault!”

The Rebbe wished to convey the tremendous responsibility that parents have for their children’s chinuch.