A dramatic farbrengen at the conclusion of the Rebbetzin’s shiva, with the mashpia Reb Yoel Kahn, includes rare reproach, as he guides the bochurim towards sensitivity and mentchlichkeit that comes before Chassidus.

The three-hour video records a farbrengen in 770 held at the conclusion of the shiva for the Rebbetzin on 29 Shevat 5748. The farbrengen served as a continuation of a more formal farbrengen that was held at the Rebbe’s request.

The night prior, after the conclusion of the shiva, the Rebbe gave a one-hundred-dollar bill to 770’sgabboim, instructing them to arrange a farbrengen in memory of the Rebbetzin, as is customary. Following Maariv, gabbai Reb Zev Katz announced the farbrengen in 770, but the Rebbe subtly hinted that it should take place in the house. Indeed, after the Rebbe left the room, Rabbi Leibel Groner returned with a message that the Rebbe wanted the farbrengen to be held in the house.

Tables were quickly set up, and a spontaneous farbrengen began, with hundreds squeezing in as various rabbonim and mashpiim spoke. At the conclusion of the farbrengen, Reb Zev announced that the farbrengen would continue the following day in 770.

The next evening, following a formal farbrengen, Reb Yoel Kahn led a farbrengen that lasted for many hours.

One of the topics Reb Yoel spoke strongly about at that farbrengen was the basic ‘mentchlichkeit’ expected of a chossid.

Reb Yoel explained how the first request we make of Hashem in Shmoneh Esrei is for daas, as it is the most crucial quality a person needs, affecting every aspect of life. “When a person is missing daas, then he will lack the basic mentchlickeit needed for the most obvious of things”, Reb Yoel said.

Reb Yoel then applied it to some current events:

“I’m not looking to give mussar, but I want to bring out what it means a lack of daas. I’ll give two examples:

“I walked into the Rebbe’s house on Friday morning, and I saw to my shock some bochurim standing on chairs. Did you forget where you are?! I’m not going to get into standing on benches in the shul, since it depends on the specific circumstance. But this is a private house, and moreover, the king’s palace!

“Out of basic manners and derech eretz, you don’t stand on chairs in someone’s house! Not because you’ll make it dirty, simply because it’s not mentchlich to stand on a chair. Ay, then you won’t be able to see; so, you won’t see!

Reb Yoel went on to share a second incident that happened:

“If that wasn’t enough, on Motzaei Shabbos, I watched as bochurim were standing on the bleachers (as if it were hakafos) staring as the Rebbe sat down on a low chair [after mairiv for nichum aveilim]. This simply isn’t mentchlich!

“By the levaya, the Rebbe is walking, and the bochurim are running along like some sort of march which is only missing a song…

“People stand around watching the Rebbe come out of his room. Just imagine even an ordinary person in such a situation; it’s simply not mentchlich!

“What’s the point of talking about it after it happened already? This particular incident passed, but it’s a symptom of something – a lack of thinking.

“And if you don’t take this part seriously, then what the Rebbe said [the positive side] about this being a new tekufah is also not taken seriously.

Reb Yoel extended it to general behavior around the Rebbe:

“The same is true about standing outside and looking at the Rebbe whenever he returns from the Ohel. The Rebbe said multiple times how he doesn’t like it; it makes him uncomfortable. Likewise, the Rebbe said several times that he can’t tolerate it when people look at him during davening.

“I don’t suspect anyone here of wanting to make the Rebbe uncomfortable. On the contrary, they want to be closer to the Rebbe.

“You’re a big chossid? You should then be doing everything you can so as not to make the Rebbe uncomfortable. I don’t understand how someone’s Chassidishkeit should constitute running after the Rebbe in a way that makes him uncomfortable… This doesn’t require any deep explanations, it’s common sense!”

Struggling to make sense of how it could happen, Reb Yoel rationalized (based on Kuntres Umayan) that chassidim who have a connection to pnimiyus will lose basic mentchlich without a proper connection to Chassidus.

Reb Yoel concluded on the topic, “It’s indeed not very nice to talk about such lowly matters at a chassidishe gathering, but it’s even worse that needs to be spoken about…”

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