What Matters in a Shidduch

When Reb Moshe Webber asked the Rebbe that Anash help a bochur in finding a shidduch, the Rebbe replied that they tried, but the bochur is obsessed with “tofel detofel” (utter trivialities) instead of what really matters.

The mashpia Reb Moshe Veber of Yerushalayim was mekarev a bochur from the Me’ah She’arim neighborhood, and he eventually merited to learn near the Rebbe in 770. In 5723 (1963), before Reb Tuvia Bloi traveled too the Rebbe, Reb Moshe asked him to mention this bochur’s name to the Rebbe, and request that Anash in New York assist this bochur with finding a shidduch.

When Reb Tuvia passed on the message, the Rebbe said, “Anash are actually trying to assist him, but in a shidduch one must focus on essential qualities, and he insists on focusing on tofel detofel (utter trivialities).”

After his yechidus, Reb Tuvia met this bochur, and he discovered that he was refusing to meet girls who aren’t from an Ashkenazi background.

“I then realized,” said Reb Tuvia, “how insignificant the Rebbe considered the differences between Sfardim and Ashkenazim.”

(Leket Uperet, Yerusholaim 5776, page 59)

From The Weekly Farbrengen by Merkaz Anash

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