Shliach Writes About Painful Condition His Children Experience

From the inbox: A shliach shares something deeply painful his children experience as out of towners, and how you can help.

My dear Chabad brothers,

I have the privilege of being part of the army of Shluchim and serving my Shlichus in a remote corner of the world. As is well known, one of the greatest challenges for Shluchim is the absence of a suitable Chassidishe framework. In such cases, we are forced to send our children far from home at a young age, whether to a boarding school or to stay with relatives.

They adapt to a kind of distant status quo, where parenting happens from afar. Additionally, in our Shlichus there are those Mekuravim among us whose children eventually also need to head to a framework of Torah study. But there is something particularly difficult about Shabbos, Off Shabbosim, or Yom Tov. While everyone prepares for Shabbos and Yom Tov, planning whom to invite or where to be hosted. Our sons and daughters, the shluchim’s children, are missing this aspect of closeness and experiencing distance from their family, which has become their routine. This is when they need to start scouting, and finding for themselves a place to be for Yom Tov.

We parents find ourselves days before an off Shabbos, trying to pull connections and make arrangements with friends from the past. You might have already asked someone from your class or an acquaintance from the other class about the possibility of hosting them. Can we be hosted by you for Shabbos or Yom Tov? That’s the question our children need to ask.

I turn to you, my fellow Chabad families, in every Chabad school or Yeshiva, from high school age and sometimes even in younger grades, there are girls in the schools or boys in the Yeshivas who wait for an invitation from a classmate.

It’s important to bring this matter to your attention.

We are approaching the month before Shavuos and as I am writing this letter, our children are in need of a family atmosphere and a warm home to be in during the holiday. We Shluchim are scattered in every remote corner of the world for every Jew, and during these days, we are already receiving many requests from people who wish to join in holiday meals and prayers. They know they have a home far from home. Seize the opportunity, open your home, and help us to provide a home for our children who are far from home.

ואהבת לרעך כמוך!

Please ask your son or daughter if they have classmates from another city or country and invite them for Shavous. It’s a privilege that is an obligation.

I would be very happy to sign my name, but out of respect for my children, I will not do so.

My brothers and friends,

I wish you a good Yom Tov and to receive the Torah with joy and inwardness.

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  1. How can anash in c.h. helps shluchims children when they cant even help there own?!
    Why so many single bochurim or girls who are either anash or BT and find themselves having shabbos and yom tov alone?!
    This is the answer to the author. However keep one thing in mind, try your best to make sure on your shlichus that “not one jew” is left behind…. for there are so many bochurim and anash who come to chabad Houses and who can testify and say otherwise…..

    1. From experience, it can be very helpful to ask advice from those who are wise in this area, or from those who are in the professional field; for advice on creating a welcoming and intuitive shabbos meal environment, where our children will crave to be by.
      Are we pressuring or children to say D’var Torah’s, or do we embrace our children for who they are

  2. My son is in Oholei Torah Shiur Daled and is always looking for a meal, when my daughters where in Seminary in crown heights the seminary arranged every week meals for the girls and I think the same should be done for the boys, if you live in crown heights and are looking to host chassidishe Bochrim please reach out to Rabbi leshes +1 347-263-3480

    1. Are you sure this is something the yeshiva is looking for for the bochurim? Oholei Torah provides all the meals for the bochurim. Weekday, shabbos and yomim tovim (I’m not sure about Pesach).

      If your son is looking for a family, lav davka he’ll end up at a family that it will be a benefit for him to be by.

      It’s different with the girls. If the girls don’t have a meal to go to, they will literally not have any Shabbos meal at all.

      1. I’m not sure who you are or if you went thru ‘the system’ but a Yeshiva Bochurs Shabbos meal when he eats in yeshiva consist of Challah, Gefilta fish, and maybe a piece of chicken, no ‘Shabbos food’, Shabbos Meal Vibe…

  3. It is a piece of good advice and a great thing to invite shluchim’s children to their home.
    However, maybe the writer would feel comfortable calling parents of the child’s friend, and asking to arrange a visit etc.

    It may feel uncomfortable at first, but I think it’s a normal thing.

    Much Hatzlacha for the Shluchim’s children.

  4. I hear what you’re saying and the difficulty your children are facing.
    I would however say this is not an issue specific to shluchim.
    I’m not an (official) shiach, was learning out of town as a bochur, and so are some of my children. And the issues are the same.
    Yes, this is an issue, and needs to be worked on.
    Wishing you hatzlacha in your shlichus, and in all your inyanim.

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