A Note from the Rebbe: When the Rebbe received a letter from a chosson focused entirely on physical wedding preparations, the Rebbe reminded him what his priorities ought to be.
Shortly before his chasunah, a chosson wrote a letter to the Rebbe which was focused completely on the physical wedding preparations. The Rebbe’s sharp response is recorded below.
The content and style of your letter is shocking and painful. At your chasunah, a new stage in life begins, a time in which you must, amongst other responsibilities, 1 – Actively and effectively use everything that you’ve learnt and absorbed until this point. 2 – Repay the debt owed to your parents, teachers, society etc for all that they have given you, by contributing and influencing society instead of just taking. 3 – Prepare yourself for your most important role in life, the education of your children (when Hashem blesses you so), a responsibility that lies solely on your shoulders.
In addition, and most importantly, you are taking upon yourself the responsibility for the life of another person, namely your wife.
Instead of focusing on these important responsibilities, you are chasing after what you call the “easy path”, finding an apartment, furniture etc… In fact, this path is one of frightening stupor, in which you are putting your sense of purpose, and eventually all of your spirituality and soul’s expressions in a deep state of dormancy.
Is this the purpose of life? Is this what distinguishes between man and animals? Is this the way you will (G-d forbid) educate your family?