Is Love Really in the Details? 

There is a famous saying: Love is in the details. Some might argue that love is where the heart is, but those with strong relationships know that love is in the details is inarguably true.

By R’ Levi Browd – Yagdil Torah

Take a minute or two to think about your most cherished relationship. 

Is it your spouse? A parent? 

Your child? A special friend or mentor?

What makes this relationship so strong?

There is a famous saying: Love is in the details. Some might argue that love is where the heart is, but those with strong relationships know that love is in the details is inarguably true. It is in the details where we show that we are truly invested and committed to the relationship, that we will take the time to let the other know we see them and care about them.

Love is when you search the entire store for the vanilla ice cream with cherry infusions and raw cacao chunks your wife likes the best. Love is when you take a whole day off from work (or school) to go store hopping, hunting for the exact sweater your sister wants for her birthday. Love is when Mommy and Tatty know exactly what to say to comfort their child and make them feel safe and happy. It is the details that make our relationships. And it is when we act on them that our relationships continuously evolve and grow. 

The same is true in our relationship with Hashem. It is in the details that we show that this is a relationship we are committed to, and we want to have. It is when we make sure we light Shabbos candles on time and our tefillin are worn properly. It is when we make sure to say Krias Shema before the z’man and are conscientious of making a bracha before we eat. It is when we are mindful of the appropriate conduct we must have in front of the Aron Kodesh and what actually are actions of Ahavas Yisrael.

Because halachos are the details of our relationship with Hashem, and it is only when we live with them that we show Hashem we are invested in our relationship with Him, just as much as He is invested in us. 

Halacha has many parts to it, like the human body has a myriad of cells, tissues, muscles, and organs that are all needed in order for the body to function properly. Just as every detail in the body is important, so too each detail in halacha is vital in our relationship with Hashem. In Iggeres Hakodesh, Ch. 23, the Alter Rebbe explains: “A person can easily stumble, chas v’shalom, even in a prohibition punishable by kares or s’kila because of ignorance [of these laws of Shabbos].” We know to keep Shabbos but the detailed halachos tell us how to accomplish that.

In our relationships, the more we know, the easier it is to choose what we should or shouldn’t do, or what is or isn’t needed. And when we act on this knowledge, our relationships become that much stronger, intimate, and special. So too, the more we learn and implement halacha, the more authentic and deep our relationship with Hashem will be.

Chodesh Elul is right around the corner and Hashem is literally waiting for us to connect with Him. It starts with each and every one of us reading this making a commitment to invest in our relationship with Hashem through learning practical halachos to apply in our day-to-day lives.

It is up to our leaders – the inner leader in you, the parents, the teachers, the mashpiyim, and the rabbanim of our shuls and communities to implement the learning needed and encourage its practice. In countless letters to community leaders and mosdos, we see the Rebbe strongly urging the teaching and observance of practical halacha. Our relationship with Hashem is a precious gift and it is up to us to actively work on it.

So, start a learning group or a women’s shiur. Start a daily halacha WhatsApp group or do a live stream. Reach out to a friend and start a chavrusa together, learning a chapter in Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. 

It’s up to us to invest in the most important relationship of all.

Because yes, love really is in the details.

Please be an ambassador and help spread the essence of halacha and the significance of its details by sharing this article with others. 

Yagdil Torah will iy”h create more materials for furthering our learning and commitment to living halacha. To receive updates and for any questions, please email [email protected]. To donate to this project, please visit (Please indicate “Halacha Project” when donating.)

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