Ask the Rov: Is the practice of eating on Friday afternoon (“toameha”) appropriate?

By Rabbi Chaim Hillel Raskin – Rov of Anash in Petach Tikvah

On Friday, even during the morning, one may not partake of a meal larger than one is accustomed to during the week.¹ The Gemara tells us that there was a family in Yerushalayim that would consistently hold a large meal on Friday, and that family was left with no descendants, R”l.² (Mitzvah-related meals are discussed in issue 551.)

The primary reason for the prohibition is to ensure that one enters Shabbos with an appetite and is able to fulfill the Shabbos meal properly.³ Additionally, holding such a meal on Friday is disrespectful to Shabbos, as it seems like Shabbos is no more important than the weekday.⁴ Furthermore, one’s preoccupation with this meal may detract from preparing the Shabbos meal.⁵

An ordinary meal, without alcoholic beverages, is halachically permitted throughout the entire day. While some poskim differentiate whether it is a one- time occurrence or a regular practice, the Alter Rebbe learns that the prohibition is only for a larger meal than usual.⁶

Yet, Shulchan Aruch rules that it is a mitzvah to refrain from starting even a small meal from the beginning of the tenth hour, i.e., three “seasonal” hours before sunset.⁷ If one has a small appetite, or on a short Friday, one should refrain even earlier (as appropriate).⁸

A “meal” is defined by a k’beitza worth of bread. Less than that amount, or fruits and vegetables of any amount, may be eaten up to shkia, and there is no need to refrain.⁹

There is a custom recorded to taste the Shabbos foods in advance to ensure they are seasoned properly, and one who does so merits long life (to’ameha chayim zachu). This is not required today, as cooking methods and ingredients are tried and tested. The Rebbe notes that the Frierdiker Rebbe did not taste the food before Shabbos, yet it’s appropriate to taste the kedusha of Shabbos in advance.¹⁰

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From The Weekly Farbrengen by Merkaz Anash