At What Age Can I Put Earrings on My Daughter?

Watch at 7 PM: Harav Gedalya Oberlander will answer practical halachic questions including putting earings on babies, what to do with extra money from a campaign, paying for treif lunch of non-Jewish workers, buying a gadget you saw by a friend, using pushka money for a different cause, and is a leather tefillin bag considered hiddur mitzvah.

By reporter

The series of Halacha Q&A with Harav Gedalya Oberlander on has garnered much interest from community members and rabbonim alike. The common and contemporary questions are addressed with direct and practical answers.

Harav Gedalya Oberlander is the rov of Heichal Menachem in Monsey, NY, and a member of Vaad Rabbonei Lubavitch, and he is known for his breadth of knowledge and clear psak. He will be answering contemporary shailos in a weekly column on

Shailos can be emailed to [email protected].

The shiur will take place on Sundays at 7:00 pm EDT and will be streamed exclusively on

For all previous videos, click here.

To subscribe to the shiurim on podcast, click here.

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  1. Interesting discussion, but I have a problem imagining the metzius. It is very common for employers to buy their employees lunch, but I have never heard of an employee buying his employer lunch! Of course it’s possible, but it’s not a normal case. So you should probably reverse this scenario. As the gemara says, איפוך.

  2. Re: Lo sachmod, the conclusion is correct, but לאו מטעמיה. The whole discussion about the three-way machlokes concerning what constitutes a מעשה is simply not relevant here.

    The whole issur of lo sachmod is when you lust after the same item that the other person has. You want that item, and nothing else will make you happy. And the reason Hashem doesn’t like it is that if you want it, that means you want the other person not to have it. עינו רעה בשל רעהו. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your own good, but you should also want his good. You shouldn’t want to deprive him of it just to satisfy yourself.

    But there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing that someone else has something nice, and deciding that you want one just like it. There’s nothing wrong with asking him where he bought it, how much it cost, how he likes it, etc., with the intention not of depriving him of it, but of getting another one for yourself. Because in such a case there is no עינו רעה. On the contrary, you are happy for him, and you hope that when you buy one he will be happy for you.

    This distinction comes out most sharply with לא תחמוד אשת ריעך. You see someone has a beautiful wife, and you want her for yourself. Obviously this means you want to break up his marriage, rachmono litzlan. And obviously this is a very bad middah. It’s not surprising that Hashem forbade it, and put it in the asseres hadibros. But suppose that instead of wanting her, you inquire whether perhaps she has a single sister who looks like her. There’s nothing wrong with that! Aderaba, if it results in a shiduch, that would be wonderful.

  3. Re: Talis Bag
    He mentions that a TALIS Bag has Kedusha and it is thus Assur to place other items inside. What is the source for this? The Talis itself does not even have a Din of Tashmishei Kedusha, and definitely not its bag.
    Perhaps he meant a Tefillin bag.

    1. At Judaica Creations, we make special pockets to accommodate all those non Kedusha items. We were told since the thought was intended for this purpose, that was completely ok.

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