‘Ahhhs’ and ‘Oys’ May Not Stay the Same

There has never been a more confusing time than ours. We are exposed to endless information on how to live our lives; choose priorities; educate our children; and be married. But we need to be open to the possibility that these ahhhs may one day prove to be oys.

By Rabbi Mordechai Lipskier

Reb Yisroel Gordon, a”h, used to tell this story:

One winter morning in Russia, a man took his son to the mikveh with him. They broke a hole in the icy layer on top of the lake and the father helped his son safely into the water. “Oy!” the boy screamed as he hit the freezing water. When he came out, and his father wrapped him in a warm blanket and he gave a deep contented sigh of relief, “Ahh.”

As they rode home, the father said: “Son, life is full of oys and ahhhs; the question is only the order in which they come. Usually, doing the right thing is difficult, it’s an ‘Oy.’ But as time passes and we see the benefit, we can finally say, ‘Ahhh.’ Conversely, doing the wrong thing is usually easy and enjoyable at first; we give an immediate gratifying ‘Ahhh.’ But as time passes, that ‘Ahhh’ turns into a regretful ‘Oy.’”

Our sedrah opens with, “Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse. The blessing, if you will heed the commandments of Hashem, your G-d, which I command you today; and the curse, if you will not heed the commandments of Hashem your G-d.”

The medrash explains these pesukim with a mashal. An old man sat at a crossroad announcing: There are two paths, one is smooth in the beginning but thorny at the end, and the other is thorny at the beginning but smooth later on.

This is what Hashem is telling the Yidden: Finding the right path in life is tricky. Many paths seem good and smooth, but ultimately they’ll lead us in the wrong direction. The Torah’s path is not always the easiest nor the smoothest, but it’s guaranteed to lead us to ultimate goodness. I am the One telling you what’s a blessing and what’s a curse. Judge only by what I command you, not by what appears to be true. 

Someone once wrote a letter to the Rebbe saying that he plans to move his young child from a cheder that has a high standard of Yiras Shamayim (but the physical air in the room isn’t good) to a school that has lower Yiras Shamayim (but it has better, cleaner air). Once the child gets healthier, he assured the Rebbe, he’ll bring him back to the first cheder. The Rebbe responded that he doesn’t approve of this, and quoted the passuk, “Yiras Hashem l’chaim,” Yiras Hashem is ultimately what brings life, also in the very physical sense.[1]

There has never been a more confusing time than ours. We are exposed to endless information on how to live our lives; choose priorities; educate our children; and be married. A lot of the information seems sound, practical, and is even proven to work. But we need to be open to the possibility that these are the ahhhs that may one day prove to be oys.

We’re lucky to have Torah as our guide to the ultimate ahhs.

[1] Igros Kodesh vol. 10 pg. 252

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