י״ח אלול ה׳תשפ״ה | September 10, 2025
“Tznius Style”: It’s Time to Talk About It
I’ve noticed that there is a sense of discomfort with the way Tznius is often discussed. Some seem to avoid using the word altogether, opting instead for vague descriptions that avoid direct confrontation with the issue. Unfortunately, a common mistake is to focus solely on the “spirit of the law”.
I’ve noticed that there is a sense of discomfort with the way Tznius is often discussed. Some seem to avoid using the word altogether, opting instead for vague descriptions that avoid direct confrontation with the issue. Unfortunately, a common mistake is to focus solely on the “spirit of the law.”
By Rivka G.
I’ve noticed that there is a sense of discomfort with the way Tznius is often discussed. Some people seem to avoid using the Tznius word altogether, opting instead for vague descriptions that avoid direct confrontation with the issue. After all, the word Tznius seems restrictive (not sure why this is so… I’m also not sure what’s wrong with restrictive behavior…) and we don’t want to be blamed for “shoving Tznius down people’s throats” (though I for one have no idea how it’s even practically possible to shove a lofty concept down a throat…).
But ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. In my opinion, we’re facing a serious Tznius crisis, and it’s time to confront it head-on without shying away from all the accusations and associations.
It’s utterly heartbreaking to see people brazenly violating the laws of Tznius on our streets, with no regard for the Torah’s clear guidelines or Hashem’s will, and it’s high time we take a stand against this widespread immodesty that’s becoming increasingly normalized in our communities.
Tznius is not just a set of guidelines; it’s a way of life that shows dedication to following Ratzon Hashem.
As Jews, we believe that Halacha is a reflection of Hashem’s desire. It’s not about personal interpretations or intentions; it’s about adhering to a specific set of guidelines that have been passed down through generations. When it comes to Tznius, these guidelines are clear: modest dress, avoidance of public displays of affection, and separation between men and women in certain contexts.
It’s essential to put first adherence to Halacha when it comes to Tznius. Just as one cannot become a Jew simply by “feeling Jewish” or receiving a piece of paper declaring them formally Jewish, one also cannot observe Tznius without following the actual specific Torah guidelines. Conversion to Yiddishkeit requires a formal process, including bris milah and mikvah, as dictated by Halacha. (Some people from the senior generation probably recall the storm that erupted over the “mihu yehudi”). Similarly, a kosher kitchen requires adherence to specific rules, and a single drop of milk in a meat pot can render it non-kosher. “Kosher style” is not kosher, and “Tznius style” is not Tznius.
Unfortunately, a common mistake is to focus solely on the “spirit of the law,” neglecting the clear guidelines that define Tznius. One cannot pick and choose which aspects of Tznius to follow based on personal preferences. The laws of Tznius are extremely specific, and violating them is considered a violation of Hashem’s will. For example, wearing clothing that reveals too much skin or failing to cover all of one’s hair in public is considered immodest. These guidelines may seem restrictive to some, but they are an integral part of halacha and thus reflect Hashem’s desire.
While the spirit of the law is important, it’s equally essential to follow the specific guidelines that define Tznius. By doing so, we can ensure that our actions align with Ratzon Hashem and promote a more modest, respectful, and compassionate community. While some may argue that focusing on the spirit of Tznius is more important than following specific guidelines, this approach can be problematic. When individuals prioritize their own interpretations over traditional guidelines, they risk undermining the very fabric of halacha.
In the case of Tznius, violating the clear guidelines can have severe halachic consequences. For example, a woman who consistently dresses immodestly may be considered untrustworthy in kashrus matters. In some cases, a husband may be justified in demanding a divorce without paying the kesubah money if his wife’s behavior is deemed immodest.
It is true that sometimes people are dressed to the letter according to the laws of Tznius, but something appears to be lacking there. They missed the point. We can perhaps say that when it comes to Tznius, the “spirit of the law” is part of the actual law. Halacha governs not only sizes and measurements, but also the general “look.”
But that is not a license to throw out the baby with the bathwater and neglect to keep the specific Halachos. Yes, short sleeves are anathema to Torah. There are no ifs or buts about it. Let’s say it the way it is: Wearing a top with a low neckline is akin to eating a cheeseburger from McDonalds. Does that sound extreme or radical? Perhaps. But that is because we might not be in sync with the straightforward facts of Torah.
The phrase “Tznius style” is often used to describe clothing that doesn’t actually meet the standards of Tznius. For example, choosing to wear a skirt over pants is indeed commendable. But if the skirt is above the knee it is still a clear violation of the Torah. When done in public, it’s even more problematic. It’s not about the type of clothing, but about following Hashem’s commandments. When one disregards the laws of Tznius, they not only are not fulfilling Hashem’s will but also cause a public chilul Hashem.
A young woman once approached her Rebbe, looking for guidance on how to balance her self-expression with following Halacha. She was unsure how to reconcile personal expression with adherence to the traditional guidelines of Tznius. Her Rebbe listened attentively, and when she concluded, the Rebbe told her: “The key to true beauty lies not in revealing oneself to the world, but in revealing oneself to Hashem.”
As a community that values the inner meaning of mitzvahs and the beauty of Torah, we must be careful not to replace the actual mitzvah with good feelings. Let’s focus on following the law, and trust that the spirit will follow.
It’s time to confront the Tznius crisis with courage and conviction, and to prioritize adherence to Hashem’s will. By doing so, we can build a closer relationship with Hashem and build stronger, more meaningful relationships with others. True beauty lies not in external appearances, but in the inner qualities that reflect one’s connection to Hashem.
As we strive to balance our desire for self-expression with our commitment to halacha, may we find inspiration in the guidance of our Rebbeim.
My thoughts on this matter are informed by the insightful words of Rabbi Yosef Braun shlita at the most recent Kinus Hamechanchos, where he shed light on the importance of Tznius in our daily lives. My thanks go to him.
COMMENTS
A very important point that must be added is the primacy of the mitzvah~aseh of Peru~Urevu. While the laws of tznius are of course binding, a husband must be extremely careful in how he broaches the topic with his wife so as not to harm their shalom~bayis. The fulfillment of a foundational positive commandment like building a family must be prioritized, and creating strife could, G-d forbid, stand in the way of that.
Mitzvahs and halacha – including, let’s say, open desecration of shabbos and kashrus – should be put on the side for the sake of sholom bayis.
Well said. Let’s start with basic Halacha. Skirts covering knees. No open tops. No short sleeves. Why is it ok for halacha to be neglected? Can I be a frum yid just i eat pork? I call upon school administrators in ch to open schools for these people specifically. There is no reason they are allowed in mainstream mosdos. The Rebbe was quit vocal how he expected us to have tnius. Yes you can dress trendy in chabad. Its encouraged not looking down upon. The Rebbe wanted women to dress tznius and look beautiful for their husbands. Its not a contradiction. Please dont confuse halacha with this.
Your making the argument that the issue should be addressed as black and white, Halacha first approach, as opposed to addressing the issue with bringing out the spirit of the Halacha. And describing it as that is not directly tackling it and as that is the easy way out.. while the only story you quote in this article from the Rebbe does exactly that of what you are suggesting. The Rebbe does not respond “because that’s what Halacha says” the Rebbe responds with what true beauty is and of the relationship with Hashem…
i dont beleive this is a story with the Rebbe bat rather a diffrent chassidic rebbe
I’m so happy you wrote this. Thank you for articulating so much of what’s on my heart.
Thank you for your clear and to-the-point words about the #1 issue of our time in Lubavitch, in my opinion. How many times did the Rebbe talk about how Jewish women are the foundation of the home, the bedrock of our entire nation? If our girls go down spiritually, we will all go down spiritually. This is literally the number one tayna that people in the Chasidic and Yeshivish world have on Lubavitch today. Many of them have told me they would love to bring their kids to our Simchas Beis Hadhieiva in CH but they can’t because they don’t want to expose their kids to the lack of Tzniyus that plagues the streets in CH. But this is an issue everywhere. My neice is not Lubavitch and lives in Yerushalayim and she told me you can spot a Lubavitch girl in EY a mile away by the way she dresses not Tzniyus. Even “Chasidish” women and Shluchos wear leggings. This issue is a pandemic in Lubavitch and deserves more attention than anything else if we care about our children and the future of this Chassidus.
“If our girls go down spiritually, we will all go down spiritually”
so, so true!! oy!
I’m not intending to bash anyone, but I must agree with this assessment. I too live in Eretz Yisroel and the contrast is very disturbing. Boruch Hashem I had several Chassunos to attend in the past few weeks. At the Litvish/Yeshivish Chassunos the girls were all dressed tastefully, beautifully, and completely Tzanua (with rare and minor exceptions) and the less-Tzanua were older women relatives from more modern communities. At one Chabad Chassuna it was the exact opposite! Especially at an event of such Kedusha this is Mamash such a shame…
I know plenty of “Chassidishe women and Shluchos” who will never wear leggings. Don’t generalize. There are still “Chassidishe” people.
I commend the author for bringing up this most important topic. I like her attitude that it’s all about simple halacha. The idea that a short sleeve is like a cheeseburger is very true.
At the same time, sometimes these conversations spiral into negative comments and bashing.
For the most part, though the author wrote strongly worded points, there was not much of the negative tone we often encounter. And for that i thank her.
My concern is that those commenting will have a field day i Lubavitch and yiddishe girls bichlal. It doesn’t do good to us, nor does it do a service to those who are struggling in this area.
It’s hard enough to find out that you are being compared to people who are eating pork. It’s even worse to be constantly criticized and bashed. It can even cause an attitude that let me just give up.
For some of us, tznius is a real struglgle. We know this is the right thing but it’s hard gor us. Criticizing us and using harsh language doesn’t make for easier. It actually makes it harder.. I know you will reply, that this is not meant to be a struggle, and it’s just black and white. But what is true in theory is not necessarily what happens in the real world. The reality is that this is a big struggle for us. The last thing you woukd want yo hear is “if I am already like eating for work maybe I should actually go ahead and just do that…”.
So, you can keep on commenting about the importance of this mitzvah and why it’s absolutely necessary to be strong in this area. But please, no bashing.
I think it is a bit better at beis rivkah students since the new administration!
How can we expect the girls to respect tznius when their teachers and principals don’t?! And the day cam staff are way, way worse in their tznius. Hashem y’rachem.
It’s beyond time we address this fatal issue!
For some reason it seems not “politically correct” to discuss our tzniyus issue, but if someone is to lament on our shiduchim or sholom bayis problems- they get the floor. Did anyone consider that maybe our issues have a connection to each other?
That maybe if we improve our tzniyus standards it can affect how our youth view marriage, shiduchim etc?
Perhaps if we stress the benefits we receive by acting and dressing tzniyus the idea can be more “popular”/ easier to speak up without speaker fearing backlash.
It might be hard to find proper studies on the benefits because 1) goyim (or anyone) don’t like coming to conclusions that puts them in a bad light 2) many would be glad to entice and try convince people not to behave modestly for ulterior/ selfish motives (a hint suffices for the wise).
I thank R G for being brave enough to go against the tide and speaking up
This is a charedi view in the worst way possible. Chabad does not believe in education by focusing on the negative.
As the Rebbe said: Mussar focuses on what you did bad, Chassidus focuses on how you need to CHANGE…
I think it was one of the reasons the other girls schools in crown heights have opened up!
The article and comments are completely against everything the Rebbe teaches Us. Focusing on the negative and throwing people out of school because they don’t dress a certain way is the opposite of Chabad. Thats how it’s done in Satmar not here. This type of education clearly started after gimmel Tammuz and clearly has not worked at all
This myth that the Rebbe only preached positive and never upheld standards can only be said by someone who gets their image of the Rebbe from edited clips. Learn the Rebbe’s original sichos and igros and you will see plenty of strong demands and (gasp!) criticism.
Yes, there are standards and expectations. It can and should be said nicely, but at the end of the day there are clear standards that one is expected to conform to.
This “positive only” attitude (which ironically only comes up regarding Yiddishkeit standards, not when someone touches their stuff etc.) ruins mosdos and communities. Any infrastructure relies on hard rules to exist. You can be soft on individuals, but as a community, we need to uphold fixed standards.
What isnt being discussed is people who are chassidish lubavitchers including shluchos and their thought speech and body language is far from tznuis. So to wear a costume of fully dressed tznuis yet love bomb someone with their body language as a non jew would is revolting and contrary to tznuis. How is that going to encourage to dress tznuis when your thought speech and body language is saying the exact opposite?
The Rebbe said that he is elevating the subject of tznius to paramount importance. No doubt this is greatest challenge of our time. We all know the rule though too that Hashem wouldn’t give us a test we can’t pass. We can and will prevail.
The comparison to eating a cheeseburger G-d forbid is exactly what many need to hear. Shock treatment -that only a “kosher style” diet is treif and only a “tznius style” = compromised tznius is treif. Eliyahu Hanavi did the same thing when he had a showdown with 450 false prophets who worshipped the bal avoda zora but also believed in Hashem. He told them that it’s better in a sense to worship the bal (despite it being 1 of the 3 cardinal sins) then just living their life on the fence compromised here and there being nowhere except for being messed up and mixed up about everything. So at least they’ll have clarity of black and white right and wrong thereby being much more prone to tshuva. It worked and at the end they all did tshuva right away proclaiming Hashem hu Elokim!
There are 3 stories at least when the Rebbe was asked how the standards of dress should be in Chabad to which the Rebbe responded “like in Bais Yaakov of Bnei Brak and Yerushalayim”. Yes, despite the fact that we are Lubavitchers who have our own chassidus, minhagim and hashkofa etc… nevertheless this is their strong point in those communities that we must learn from, adopt and adapt to those higher and proper standards of tznius and mode of dress.
I heard a remarkable shiur addressing the dress in Chabad. The question posed was: how is it that amonst Chabad chassidim who are so careful and makpid on Lubavitcher shechita, pas, bishul and cholov yisroel 212, have unbelievable fervor for mivtzoim and shlichus – and at the same time are in the back seat way behind other chassidishe and even Litvishe communities in tznius? It’s just too ironic with no sense to it.
The answer posed was: Apparently, from the onset of the world’s beginning with Odom and Chava which were originally without clothes – resulting in the snake desiring chava and in the aftermath with the chet etz hadaas with all the issues that came along, primarily with the need for clothing. Therfore we see that the beginning and end are very dependent on each other particularly concerning clothing. Namely, that now when we are holding by the threshold of redemption – ikvisa demishicha – the soton and sitra achra realize that their end is very near; thereby their last thrust of adrenaline and last flickers of attempted survival is directed towards this very topic of tznius – all directed directly at those who are on the forefront fighting on the front lines for moshiach and geulah in every way – namely chabad chassidim! No wonder they look the way they do. Nonetheless, G-d forbid for any of us to use this as a cop out answer to justify any compromising of halacha to legitimatize improper standards of tznius and dress. On the contrary, realizing this must empower all of us to redouble our strength and courage to fortify tznius full thrust on all levels by men and women together – in thought, speech, action and especially dress to finalize the victory over this long golus.
It’s a surreal experience for me reading this, coming from a very Charedi-Chabad mixed background and community. If I had seen this many years ago, I would be nodding along in complete agreement, wondering how anyone could not see the truth and clarity in this article. I would have dismissed anyone who complained about its brash, negative slant as childish and biased.
Now, as an adult heavily involved in chinuch, let me tell you — the article is not addressing and not comprehending the main point that this all centers upon.
We can no longer take for granted that our daughters will accept Yiddishkeit. We need to sell it to them. We need to show them, convince them, that Halacha — as we understand it and practice it — sees them as equal. It is not oppressive to them, not trying to make them invisible or responsible for men’s conduct. Halacha is full of beauty, respect, and dignity for a woman as a woman.
We have to be careful that every class, every word, every proclamation contains those ideals. Many of our daughters are critical, sensitive, deep thinkers — and for many, that is where the challenge in this area comes from. Other Charedi circles may not mold girls with that specific set of traits. I’m so proud of our community and the traits it cultivates.
As a teacher myself, I agree wholeheartedly with your points. And I will add, as a woman, that my personal example of Tznius also “goes a long way” in nonverbally encouraging my girls (students, guests, etc.) to see this as positive. “Bais Yaakov standards” need not include only drab colors or button-down shirts; embrace the colors Hashem put in our world, tastefully and with dignity!
I’ve been saying since I was in high school (now a mom of a high school student), that the schools failed miserably by conflating basic halachos of erva with aidlekeit. The result was that huge numbers of my schoolmates left school thinking that showing elbows was the same thing as wearing colored shoes or long earrings (which aren’t necessarily even an issue but were not in accordance with dress code).
I had to buy uniforms skirts for my high schooler and the lengths being sold are problematic. But you know what? I recall in 10th grade we all were wearing skirts to the floor, there was no such thing as a short skirt. Then some mechanchos decided it wasn’t aidle enough and made everyone shorten their skirts mid year officially to mid calf but of course that’s not what actually happened and now we have an actual breach of tznius in the uniform and it’s been 20 years since.
Girls need to be taught what basic non negotiable halacha is first and foremost. Arbitrary standards of aidlekeit should be discussed and farbrenged about and even enforced as part of the dress code but let’s be very careful not to pretend that violating the school dress code is the same thing as violating halacha, because way way too many girls have been given that idea and they’re now the mothers of this next generation and unfortunately it shows.
Like I tell my daughter when I need to remind her to put on socks or pull her skirt down or get a neckline taken in, “I didn’t invent these halachos, I can’t give you permission to break them”. Everything else, the style of shoes, hair ect, we can have a discussion about but actual shulchan aruch we keep the same as we keep kashrus and shabbos.
100% right
I think everyone needs to work on themselves and their family, if everyone just did their part and changed themselves, the problem would be resolved. The amount of comments here about what to do on the whole isnt gonna help, each person who wrote such strong comments on this post should just take the time to improve in their own tznius (Whether in dressing or talking and acting) and try to help their kids along that same path and if everyone did that the problem would be completely resolved. I also dont think theres a point in comparing ourselves to others and putting ourselves down. Yes, we can acknowledge that we have a lot to improve but the rebbe and the torah never says to put others down and see what THEY can improve its about what us as an individual can improve and i think everyone should focus on what they can improve, and improve it and then everything will be good! (Of course you can teach others and help them along but to put others down and say “No one in Lubavitch Doesnt wear leggings” you can teach them and try to help them, but dont put them down and say their worse then you, cause that will only get them mad and it honestly wont help.)
Tznius has become the #1 issue in Crown Heights today.
It has reached the point where even mainstream girls—who are not trying to rebel—feel pressured to dress in ways that are not tznius.
The only real solution is to create a vaad (council) of influential people who are not afraid of backlash or bullying, and who will set clear standards for our mainstream schools. These standards must be implemented across the board, with accountability. If a girl refuses to comply, she should not be allowed to remain in the school.
Only with such a strong and united approach can we stop this tidal wave of the tznius problem in our community.
I agree 100%
Skirt length ‐ 4 inches below the bottom of the knee – minimum; beyond that – to receive the Rebbe’s brocho which we all need!
This story is printed in the sefer “The Rebbe on modesty”
DRESSING IN GOOD TASTE
Rabbi Shneur Zalman Gafni recalls a yechidus at which the Rebbe spoke sharply about tznius:
The Rebbe was very agitated, and there was anger in his voice:
“Now the style has become to wear clothing that reaches the ground. That’s the brainstorm of some crazy goy in Paris! Should Jewish women be taking cues from some goy in Paris?! Is that how it ought to be?!”
I was taken aback. The Rebbe was speaking with such vehemence.
The Rebbe continued: “Immoral people today have contrived to make tight clothing the fashion. It accentuates the body and arouses men’s desires. Long and tight clothes are the brainchild of these people.
“The knees must be covered while a woman is seated, and this isn’t always the case. Her clothes must therefore extend at least 10 centimeters beneath the knees to ensure they remain covered. I’m not deciding the length, that’s the job of Rabbonim. I’m simply stating the minimum. And may blessings rest upon whoever adds
to it.
“This isn’t to say that women shouldn’t dress well – but the clothing must be appropriate, even though the designers try to make it inappropriate. The proper approach is to create tasteful, respectable clothing, neither too long nor too tight.”