The Rebbe’s Guidance for Emotional Wellness

Loneliness, self-transcendence, purpose, habit building, health of the body, productivity, structure, social interaction, connection to our inner self.  The Rebbe’s insights on these crucial factors of emotional wellbeing are invigorating. 

Menachem Eini, a young Israeli fighter pilot, was taken captive in 5730 after his plane was downed by an Egyptian anti-aircraft missile.

For three long years, he languished in Egypt in horrific conditions with nine other Israeli POWs. Finally, after the Yom Kippur War in 5734, a prisoner exchange was arranged, and he was able to return to his family in Eretz Yisroel.

Despite Eini’s joy in reuniting with his wife and children, he found it increasingly difficult to return to normal life.

He later recalled: “Outwardly, I was productive and energetic. In fact, I was held up as a model of recovery and resilience. Inside, however, I was hiding a terrible inner fatigue. I would look around and see people at ease with themselves while I felt profoundly restless. Any noise would irritate me. Even music became an intolerable clamor. I could find no peace.”

A friend of his recognized that he was suffering and advised him to seek a yechidus with the Rebbe. In the Rebbe’s room, for the first time since his release a few months earlier, Eini unburdened himself.

“The memories were very painful,” he recounted, “and I think people who’ve gone through a traumatic experience often prefer to suppress the trauma as much as possible. Yet here I was recounting these memories, without feeling a drop of pain or shame, if there was even anything to be ashamed of.”

As Eini shared his months and years of trauma—the loss of his co-pilot, his fear of imminent death, the never-ending interrogations, the years in captivity, the shock of freedom, the anxious anticipation, the surreal reunion, the visits with families of friends who didn’t survive—the Rebbe gently encouraged him to share more.

At the end of the yechidus, the Rebbe advised Eini to write a memoir of his time in captivity. “Unfortunately,” the Rebbe explained, “you will probably not be Israel’s last prisoner of war, and others who will be taken captive will benefit from reading about your experience.”

“He was absolutely and totally present,” Eini reflected, “sharing my burden with me. I was speaking to him, but also to myself; I was bringing things to the surface from deep inside me that I would otherwise never tell anyone, not even myself. His listening the way he did helped me heal from the experiences of captivity. I even had my first healthy laugh.

“I discovered that a person can be addressed fully through silence and listening alone. I needed this meeting like oxygen. 

“When I left, I felt more reflective, more connected to myself. I was able to revisit my time in captivity, and begin to relate to it without fear. I felt like a stone had rolled off my chest.”

Eini later recounted a special moment in this fateful yechidus: “I told the Rebbe that one of my challenges while in captivity was the pressure from the incessant togetherness. Even as I engaged in personal work, like drawing, writing poetry, or journaling, I knew I wasn’t alone, and others could always look at what I was doing. ‘It was always crowded in the room,’ I said, ‘being together all the time, without even a minute to yourself…’

“After a moment of silence, the Rebbe remarked: ‘And yet, despite the togetherness, everyone was left with their own loneliness.’

“I looked at him for a moment and thought: How does he know that?! But I knew he was right. And I also realized that he had insight into how a person could overcome this universal loneliness.” 

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Loneliness, self-transcendence, purpose, habit building, health of the body, productivity, structure, social interaction, connection to our inner self. 

The Rebbe’s insights on these crucial factors of emotional wellbeing are invigorating. 

This month Derher published a sampling of these insights for you to read; a chapter from the newly published book, “Letters for Life.”

In a generation grappling with so much emotional struggle, the Rebbe’s words are a source of comfort and healing.

Click here to read the full article.