From the Anash.org Inbox: Listen to a group of friends talking, and chances are you will hear them speak about their stress. In particular, the stress that comes with kids. But we must realize that some of our own could only dream of such complaints.
By A Crown Heights Mother
Listen to a group of friends talking and I’m sure you’ll hear them speak about their stress. How stressful life feels and how there are so many things overwhelming them. And a big word that usually comes up a lot is “my kids…”
“My kids are so bored in the afternoons I don’t know what to do with them, they drive me crazy.”
“I must find someone to study with my son Yanky he’s really falling behind, I’m so concerned about him.”
“My babysitter just canceled on me, it’s crazy! I don’t know who will watch the baby when I’m in school.”
“The kids are growing out of their clothes and I have no money to buy new ones right now, I don’t know how we will afford it, the expenses keep on piling up.”
“I get home so tired from work and the kids all want my attention but I have no energy, my life feels like a mess, I can’t juggle everything.”
“We must move out of our small apartment, there’s no room anymore with all the kids, but how?”
I’m not taking away from the stress of all this and things like this. It definitely is stressful and may Hashem bless everyone with much abundance, strength and support in their day to day lives.
I just want to make mention of another kind of stress that some people are going through. A stress that doesn’t mention the key word mentioned in all the above lines, “my kids”.
Do you know how many people wish that they can say those magical words of “my kids?” Because right now there are no kids, and their stresses in their day to day life look and sound a little different…
“How will we pay for this new round of fertility treatment, it’s already the third we’re doing and it’s so expensive?”
“I am so dreading this family wedding, everyone showing up with all their babies and kids, showing them off, and me with none…”
“The house is so quiet and empty, it feels so lonely, I just want there to be noise here finally!”
“I’m exhausted from yet another treatment and the pills make me so drowsy, I just hope it will actually work this time so it’ll be worth it.”
“I hope we can find a good doctor who can actually help with this situation, the ones we’ve been to so far have been unsuccessful.”
If you can’t relate to the above described situation, Baruch Hashem, you are lucky. Yet there are so many people around you going through just that, or something similar.
What does that mean to you? Two things.
Firstly, realize your stresses are your blessings. Become aware of how lucky you are that you have those kids! Be grateful that Hashem gave you those precious gifts. Yes get help, yes get the support you need, yes, do what you can that it shouldn’t be stressful. But know that you are dealing with the greatest gift and person can ever have.
And two, be sensitive to those around you. Think about that friend, neighbor or family member that is still waiting for their gift. They may be going through a lot of pain. Think of how you can help them, support them, be kind to them, or at least not say something that will pain them even more.. And daven for them. Ask Hashem to give them their greatest gift easily, real soon. And with your kindness maybe that suffering will become easier to bare.
May we all be blessed with pleasant peaceful lives. With strength, support and no stress. And may we appreciate the gifts we have in our lives and may none be waiting for anymore gifts. And may we be there for each other in the meantime.
Another important point not mentioned are the childless friends who are still single and well beyond their twenties and thirties – the prime time for conceiving naturally. May Hashem bench everyone with what they need, in a way not bound to the nature of this world.