ח׳ מרחשון ה׳תשפ״ו | October 29, 2025
Our Community’s Quest for Authentic Guidance
“As I was recently scrolling through the headlines on a community website, I was struck by the growing trend of secular professionals being touted as the go-to experts for navigating life’s challenges.”
By Mrs. Chana Raunskier
In a world where outside influences are increasingly shaping our values and practices, it’s time to ask: Are we losing sight of our own mesora?
As I was recently scrolling through the headlines on a community website, I was struck by the growing trend of secular professionals being touted as the go-to experts for navigating life’s challenges. “Psychologist Preparing Bachurim for Marriage” and “Trauma Specialist Talking to Our Girls About Dealing with Bereavement” are just a couple of examples that caught my eye.
While these topics are undoubtedly important, one can’t help but wonder: Shouldn’t our own Rabbonim and Mashpi’im be at the forefront of guiding us through these issues?
When it comes to preparing for marriage, dealing with bereavement, and navigating life’s complexities, shouldn’t our community’s own Torah leaders and Mashpi’im be the ones providing the guidance and support? After all, they are steeped in the wisdom of the Rebbe’s teachings, which offer profound insights into these very issues. The Rebbe’s countless sichos and Igros Kodesh are replete with guidance on these matters, and many of our Mashpi’im have received, or heard of, direct hadrachos on these topics. Our mesora is a treasure trove of wisdom that can guide us through life’s challenges, with entire seforim dedicated to the Rebbe’s teachings on these subjects.
I’m not dismissing the value of professional help when needed, but we also need to preserve the integrity and authenticity of our mesora. By turning to outside sources for guidance on fundamental life issues, are we inadvertently suggesting that our own Torah teachings are insufficient? Are we implying that the Rebbe’s teachings don’t provide sufficient guidance, and that we need to look elsewhere for answers?
As a community, we must ask ourselves: What are we trying to achieve by seeking outside guidance? Are we looking for a more “modern” or “secular” approach to life’s challenges? Or are we seeking to deepen our connection to our heritage and mesora? It’s time for us to re-examine our priorities and consider the long-term implications of our choices.
By empowering our own Rabbonim and Mashpi’im to guide us, we can ensure that our community remains true to its mesora and values. Let’s not be swayed by the latest trends or fads; instead, let’s rediscover the wisdom of our own Torah teachings and entrust our community’s guidance to those who are best equipped to lead us – our Rabbonim and Mashpi’im.
COMMENTS
It’s unfortunate that people think they need secular guidance instead of Torah. We are so lucky to have thousands (!) of pages of the Rebbe’s teachings which are so practical and uplifting.
There’s a famous saying, “When rabbis became doctors, Judaism became ill.” Similarly, when Jews began turning to doctors for wellbeing instead of the living waters of Torah, Jews have become emotionally unwell.
See sicha toldos 5731 about rabbis being called doctor
It is a clear Hoiroh in our Mesorah to seek guidance from professional doctors and phycologists when dealing with mental/physical issues.
Your point?
It’s in our mesorah for SICK people to go to doctors.
If your stomach is hurting you and you haven’t eaten, then maybe you need to eat some wholesome food. Don’t run to the emergency room!
To be emotionally healthy you need to live a life of meaning and purpose. If you don’t, you will feel sad. Going to a doctor won’t help and can make you worse.
In all of Igros Kodesh – numbering over ten thousand letters – people have found a HANDFUL of letters advising people to see out mental help. The other 99.9% are advised to strengthen their commitment to Torah and give to others.
Don’t be a hypochondriac and don’t cherry pick the Rebbe’s words. Just be a healthy chossid!
I agree that many people run too quickly elsewhere for advice. However, there are certain things where professionals are indeed needed. It also can be argued that the reason there aren’t that many letters with such advice, is because people who have letters telling them to go to therapy, aren’t releasing them to the public. The reason is obvious.
Also, there are certain things that mashpiyim are not equipped to deal with. Such as addictions. They don’t know how to deal with it. What’s wrong with going to someone (frum) who knows how to deal with such situations?
Note, smartphones weren’t around back then, and it’s not a given that every mashpia will know how to apply tanya to these situations. פוק חזי
Regarding addicts and smartphones, do therapist have all the solutions to get over it, or do they just submit to the temptation saying “this person needs …”?
The yetzer hara/human nature isn’t new. Do you think they didn’t have addictions years ago?
It may be more addictive and more prevalent, but more things stay the same than they make it out to be.
This is a much longer conversation, but I’ll say my points in brief.
Point one: Just because you know Tanya, doesn’t mean you know how to apply it to every situation. Which is why, many people go to mashpiyim in regard to these matters, and the advice doesn’t work.
Point two: There are certain עצות not written in tanya. This can be demonstrated as follows. I once heard a mashpia say that in perek כז of tanya, speaks to an addict. But if you look in פוקח עורים of the מיטעלער רבי (which clearly speaks about addicts) you will find advice not written anywhere in tanya. Same thing with the רבי. You will find many עצות the rebbe gave people are not written anywhere in tanya.
Point three: we do have a tradition of עצות for a lot of problems. But those are only the problems that existed back then. A smartphone is a new reality. And you have to know what it is, to know how to apply the old עצות to this new reality. Most mashpiyim just preach willpower. “Try harder”. But if you’d know what a smartphone is, you’d know to apply a different עצה.
This is an עצה (in short) for a smartphone (based on tanya):
We’ll speak in תאוות היתר. Apps on a smartphone are designed to deal with all your slight emotional uncomfortabilities. You don’t feel good about yourself. You find that you can feel good by going on the app. Now every time you have that feeling you want to go to that app.
I would argue that due to the world we live in, we need to be much more positive emotionally. As the Alter rebbe writes in the beginning of פרק כו, if a person is feeling negative, he won’t be able to fully in control of his yetzer hara (I don’t know why that line doesn’t get more attention).
Sometimes, the answer isn’t try harder, the answer is to try something else. If you process your negative emotions in healthy way, and learn how to feel positively (start with everything the Alter rebbe writes in those פרקים), the more you’ll be in control. The more negative you feel, the more the phone will suck you in. That’s how the phones were designed.
There are more עצות from tanya to be applied. But this is just one example.
Rabbonim and Mashpiim don’t get paid for their guidance and therefore they and their advice are not taken seriously.
I know a therapist that was charging alot even though he didn’t have many clients and when asked why, he responded that the clients should look at him as an expensive and top therapist.
I’ve heard from Rabbonim countless times of people coming and getting advice, but only following the advice when things hit rock bottom.
Don’t know the solution but just pointing it out.
Chassidus has a truly infinite level of depth and beauty that can be taught and explained. We have people like Rabbi YY Jacobson and Rabbi Shais Taub who people listen to and specifically on the topics you mentioned.
However I Promise you that no one listens to them because these Rabbis complained that people listen to phycologists instead of them. Or that people owe it to G-d to listen to them. People listen to them because they are genuinely good at explaining the beauty of chassidus and how to use it in facing lifes challenges. People who listen to them feel heard and appreciated like someone truly understands what they’re going through.
This complaint actually makes the problem worse.
A phycologist will NEVER say that you should go to them because you owe it to them for some moral reason. They will say to go to wherever will help YOU. (Happens to be they worked very hard to understand the human Psyche and are pretty good at helping people). Yet you are essentially saying that people should prioritize Kavod Hatorah instead of where they feel they will mental help.
These complaints make it sound like Chassidus can’t stand on its own as an objectively beautiful and deep idea and instead needs Jewish guilt to survive.
Everyone I know who turned away from Yiddishkeit did it exactly for this reason. Because they weren’t taught that Yiddishkeit is a genuinely beautiful thing that will help them. But something that’s owed it’s dues regardless of how it makes them feel.
So they are fed shallow unempathetic self contradictory versions of Yiddishkeit that they have no right to even question. Thats why they then go somewhere else that they feel is safe and empathetic. now you want to take this from them too?
Another thing
Torah was made to serve Hashem. And part of that is to crush and make subservient the parts of yourself that are not naturaly aligned with Torah and Mitzvos.
Therefore sometimes people will be scared to go to Mashpi’im as they might think that they represent this tnua in Yiddishkeit.
Thank you for being a voice of sanity.
The wave of secular influences subtly creeping into homes and lives is overwhelming … here are some other links that expand your article:
Rabbi Braun talk on this topic:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZSyw2OO88u16RI6s4gem536sP5v03uDx/view?usp=drivesdk
Rabbi Resnick article in this topic:
https://anash.org/to-whom-do-we-turn-for-advice-for-life/
“… if a person require an aspirin for his healing, the Rebbe would instruct him to go to the pharmacy to purchase it, and would not attempt to replace the medicine with something else.
Similarly, in a case where a person requires a Psychiatrist to cure his illness—the Rebbe would not attempt to replace the necessary Psychiatrist for his recovery – with another person…”
– yechidus, chof hei elul, 5711.
https://www.lahak.org/templates/lahak/article_cdo/aid/2950605/jewish/-.htm
A not frum therapist does not have our values. Which is why you should go to a frum phsycologist, if you need to.
However, to just make a point. Many people go to mashpiyim, and the advice doesn’t necessarily work. Many people go to therapists, and the advice doesn’t necessarily work either. It’s really about trial and error, trying different things to see what works for you.
It’s just that when you go to a therapist, they can specialize in a certain area, which means they know a lot more of the causes and עצות for their area of expertise. Mashpiyim know a lot, but they don’t specialize in these areas. Which is why, if you go to a mashpia, and their advice isn’t working for you, go to a phsycologist.
There are hundreds of frumme yidden that are not being עובר איסורים because of going to a phsycologist. Is that a bad thing?
If someone is having trouble with a specific issue, and Chassidus doesn’t work for him, he can use secular tools – anything not to do aveiros. Similar, but not the same, as what the Rebbe Rashab said about fear of punishment (that of course ch”v to speak about… even though it’s one of the 13 principles of faith).
But when we speak of community guidance, you don’t start with secular solutions. You raise children with a healthy Torah-based attitude to create healthy people. When someone is broken, you do whatever you can (so long of course that it’s permitted by Torah).
…did you happen to notice that the professional running a workshop for bochurim IS a chossid? It would be sad to discount his wise advice simply because he is ALSO a mental health professional.
Being a chossid, an ehrliche Yid, and a mental health professional means he is equipped to address issues that Bochurim have from all angles. Sounds like a recipe for success.
It would not be appropriate to discuss individuals. But in general it’s not enough for the person to be ALSO a chossid. We want their message to be purely from Torah and Chassidus. If that is indeed the case, and they just happen to know some secular ideas (like a baal teshuva), that would be fine. But usually, they pride and qualify themselves based on their degrees and draw ideas from secular teachings…
There’s a difference between therapy and medication.
Sometimes medication is needed, if there’s a chemical imbalance
Therapy tho plays with the neshama
And you gotta be really careful because it’s based in secular ideas. It’s definitely not a holistic approach for a yid.
The article writes:
“…Psychologist Preparing Bachurim for Marriage…”
The author seems to be referring to a specific article posted online a day earlier which I won’t link to for obvious reasons.
The author used an obviously fake name (a quick Google search will confirm such a last name doesn’t exist).
If someone wants to call out specific people whose real name was used in the original article, their real name should be used.
BML
If you feel so strongly about putting your name, why didn’t you include yours?
Fair question.
The difference is that he’s commenting on an article of ideas that was written under a fictitious name, not publicly criticizing specific people by name.
If someone is publishing a full article that called out specific individuals, they should use their name. That’s exactly his point, thanks for asking.
The Rebbe tells a story from the Bailis trial when someone sent a letter with arguments and it was dismissed since the stamp was placed upside down. The Rebbe used this as an example for trying to divert the conversation from the real issue at hand to some side issue (a “red herring”).
Taking pot shots at people from behind a fictitious name isn’t an “upside-down stamp.”
It’s the issue itself – trust. It’s highly immoral and erodes trust in the cause you’re trying to promote.
People seek out trustworthy guidance. If you’re immoral and unethical, people won’t come to you for guidance.
You can see the countless letters and sichos from the Rebbe against using Pashkvilin to promote holy matters.
All the more so when the article claims to promote the derech hachassidus, the higher road of emes and pnimius.
If you read those sichos (there aren’t that many), you will see that the Rebbe is referring to an attack on a specific person. This article is not an attack on any specific person, it’s a discussion of an important issue that needs to be addressed. Like any relevant topic it has implications for various people who take the other side, but it’s not attack on their persona.