As I reflect on the formative years I spent learning in Tomchei Temimim, I am filled with gratitude for the dedicated hanhala who guided me and shaped me through example and care. Yet, looking back, I also see missed opportunities—both personally and systemically.
By Z.H.
As I reflect on the formative years I spent learning in Tomchei Temimim, I am filled with gratitude for the dedicated hanhala who guided me. Their example and care shaped my understanding of what it means to be a bochur in Tomchei Temimmim created by Rebbe Rashab. Yet, looking back, I also see missed opportunities—both personally and systemically.
Despite being one of the more serious bochurim who loved learning, davening, and hisbonenus, I spent countless hours in casual conversation with my chavrusa. Now, as a husband and father juggling the challenges of adult life, I yearn for those precious days in yeshiva, where my only responsibility was to sit and learn. If I approached my current job with the same level of accountability I had back then, I doubt I’d still be employed.
This reflection raises important questions: How can we train bochurim to maximize their time in yeshiva? How can hanhala ensure that these years—the most crucial in shaping a bochur’s character and future—are used to their fullest potential?
One major gap in the current system is the transition from mesivta to zal. After years in a strong mesivta, I was left to navigate the next step on my own. Choosing the wrong zal—whether due to lack of guidance or lack of options—can leave a bochur uninspired, floundering in a weak environment that does not match his spiritual or academic needs. Why isn’t hanhala more involved in helping talmidim transition to the right zal?
The Rebbe Rashab envisioned Tomchei Temimim as a yeshiva where bochurim dedicate their time to learning and davvening. But not every bochur can sustain the same level of intensity. I know that Chasssishe dvarim betalim in Tomchei Temimmim is better than being out there exposed to the world. Does the current “one-size-fits-all” approach to zal align with this vision? And if not, how can we create a system that accommodates different learning styles while maintaining high standards of yiras shamayim and dedication?
Another critical juncture is shlichus. For many, shlichus marks the beginning of a gradual decline in accountability. A bochur who was once punctual and focused begins to step out of seder for “important” tasks, and over time, the structure crumbles. After shlichus, the lack of accountability continues, whether in a smicha program or during time spent in 770. This Bochur who was the cream of the crop is now waking up late and wasting his holy time. These are the years when a bochur should be at his peak—preparing for marriage and solidifying his foundation as a chossid. Yet, without proper structure, even the most capable bochurim begin to falter.
Proposals for Change
To address these issues, we need systemic changes:
1. Guidance in Transitions
Hanhala must take an active role in helping bochurim transition from mesivta to the right zal. This could include personalized guidance, clear benchmarks, and partnerships between mesivta and zal administrations.
2. Accountability in Zal
We need innovative ways to encourage bochurim to use their time wisely. Accountability measures—such as mentors, regular evaluations, and incentives—can help ensure that bochurim remain focused on their learning and personal growth.
3. Reevaluating Shluchim Standards
Shluchim must be held to the same standards as before shlichus. Their role is not only to inspire others but to model kabbolas ol and avodas hatefilah.
4. Structured Post-Shlichus Programs
There needs to be a structured system for bochurim from shlichus until marriage. Whether through extended zal programs or advanced learning tracks, every bochur should have a clear framework guiding him through these critical years. One idea might be to have a system where bochurim that kept Seder hayeshiva till marriage are looked at as metzuyanim ? Just a thought?
5. Creating an Iggud Hanhalos Hayeshivah
A unified council connecting all Tomchei Temimim yeshivas could address global challenges, share best practices, and create consistent standards.
The Rebbe Rashab established Tomchei Temimim to create leaders, chassidim, and lamdonim who would illuminate the world with Torah and yiras shamayim. To fulfill this vision, we must adapt to the needs of today’s bochurim while maintaining the high standards of the past.
Let us work together—hanhala, parents, and bochurim—to ensure that every bochur has the guidance, structure, and accountability he needs to thrive. These are the best years of their lives. Let’s make them count.
when is a bocher go to learn how to be self motivated. Do you think this will change lubavitch?
Are you really self-motivated, or is it only because you’re going to lose your job and lose your house if you don’t work? When you are a bucher, there’s absolutely no accountability. You can do whatever you want, which is totally different from the real world. So really you do need to give them the tools to properly grow.
B”H
Stop sending young boys to out of town mesivtahs. Keep them home under the parents loving care and watchful eye for as long as possible. They will not be emotionally burnt out by the time they reach zal, 770 and beyond.
Every good company learns from its customers how to improve. Students should be invited back when they are older to provide feedback for improvement.
As Oholei Torah instated. Or check in/out records on a server, accessible to Hanhala’s of graduate Yeshivas. Afterall the Rashab wanted them prepared for the real world.
i have a question as an outsider maybe i dont understad maybe somebody could answer it every yeshiva teaches how to learn torah yiras shomayim etc. when a person goes on in life his ruchniyusdige life is basicly the things he learned in yeshiva some stay in kollel and there life is more alike to yeshiva some are busy more with gashmiyus and try to kovaia itim sometimes more sometimes less but the values that they learned in yeshiva that stays their values adraba as the mind matures you see the values you learned in yeshiva in a different way you get more serious and you connect more to and you look up to those that stayed more connected and get nishpa from them etc but i dont understand how the lubavitcher chinuch could be matzliach since what you learn in yeshiva is not the focus later the focus is shlichus and askanus so two things happen one even in yeshiva you cant be fully in it since thats not your hemshech and second the things you learned in yeshiva nevers has time to mature and get serious since the focus is differentmy question is even more on a chabd chasidus that requires learning and yishuv hadas how is possible for the chinuch to be matzliach
Not only is it not a contradiction, it is a direct continuation. Only through the chinuch of hanochas atzmuso and total dedication to the will of Hashem, is one prepared to go on shlichus and make a dira betachtonim.
Lubavitch doesn’t view shluchim as “kiruv professionals” who take classes on how to make Yiddishkeit fun, but how to reach neshamos with the light of Chassidus. And that light of Chassidus is what the shluchim get in Tomchei Temimim.
This is perfect. Thanks for bringing up this important point.
So yungermen like you who now regret wasting time as a bochur, should be the ones to now inspire and speak to the next generation sharing your experiences and realizations. And if you manage to help the next generation, the time wasted will be transformed to kedusha.
I agree very much. What would be the next steps to have this implemented?
This is an old line used by many Anash “ I miss my yeshiva days, I wish I could go back and spend time there”. Todays Bochurim have heard that line so many times that they have become numb to it. Not to mention, that many of the people who say it, would not go back to Yeshiva if given the opportunity. The human condition is that people miss good things they once had, and they conveniently forget any not-so-good experiences, and this applies to yeshiva as well. If systems as such are made that would be pressuring and the same problem would just start later, and due to resentment, no one would learn after getting married. I think it’s much better that bochurim have a positive relationship with learning as opposed to being fit into a “metzuyonim” box.