“‘Another Yungerman’ writes that rules and discipline are not something we can throw away. He’s absolutely right. But here’s the thing: rules alone don’t shape talmidim either. A chart or a policy might create order, but it cannot see the boy in front of us. It cannot hear his story. Only a teacher, a mashpia, or a mechanech can.”

By The Original Yungerman

I want to thank Another Yungerman for his thoughtful response to my article on Discretionary Chinuch. His point is well taken, and in truth, it makes the conversation fuller.

He writes that rules and discipline are not something we can throw away. He’s absolutely right. Without rules, chinuch would be like a car without a steering wheel. Bochurim crave structure just as much as they crave understanding. They need to know that there is a system, a framework, a “yeshiva version” of right and wrong.

But here’s the thing: rules alone don’t shape talmidim either. A chart or a policy might create order, but it cannot see the boy in front of us. It cannot hear his story. Only a teacher, a mashpia, or a mechanech can.

So what are we really saying? That Chinuch cannot be only rules and it cannot be only discretion. It has to be both.

Rules give us the foundation. Discretion brings them alive. The halacha analogy is perfect: the Shulchan Aruch provides structure, while a posek applies it to the reality of life. Without one, the other cannot function.

The vision of Discretionary Chinuch was never about throwing away rules. It’s about building a system where rules are strong enough to give safety, and flexible enough to give life. A system where bochurim know boundaries are real, but also know they are not faceless numbers on a chart.

Some feedback I received after the original article was: “but you didn’t say what to do.” That’s fair. So here are a few practical ways schools can begin implementing Discretionary Chinuch in real life:

1. Tiered Discipline System: Create a clear framework of responses (reminder → reflection → consequence → administrative action) so every rebbi has options beyond “ignore” or “suspend.”
   
2. Decision Board: A small committee of staff (2–3 people) meets weekly to review individual cases and decide tailored responses, instead of defaulting to blanket rules.
   
3. Each Teacher Follow Up: Whilst the ‘committee’ (otherwise known as a Hanhala meeting), may meet for the benefit of the student (the ultimate benefit of throwing ideas around and hearing feedback to see how to deal with each situation), it is important that the teacher who dealt with the situation, sees it all the way through, and does not just hand it over to someone else… 

If this dialogue has done anything, I hope it has shown that the conversation is the point. Chinuch thrives when mechanchim, parents, and community members are willing to engage deeply. Not with some catchy slogans, but with real ideas.

Again, I encourage anyone to contact me, to hear my story, for advice, or just to keep the conversation going. My email is [email protected] 

Because at the end of the day, real chinuch is firmness with heart.