כ״ה אלול ה׳תשפ״ה | September 17, 2025
‘Crisis Chinuch’ and the Non-Unconventional Approach
From the Anash.org Inbox: For crisis situations, I’ve often heard unconventional suggestions to show love, such as taking a child to a secular event when they normally wouldn’t or even buying a child their drugs he’s taking. I watched Shimshon Stock AH telling a story of him and the Rebbe that exemplifies an effective approach.
From the Anash.org Inbox: For crisis situations, I’ve often heard unconventional suggestions to show love, such as taking a child to a secular event when they normally wouldn’t or even buying a child their drugs he’s taking. I watched Shimshon Stock AH telling a story of him and the Rebbe that exemplifies an effective approach.
By Mrs S.B. Shaw
Over the past few decades, we’ve heard a lot about the “Crisis Chinuch” for youth who have declined from the way of Yiddishkeit and how to effectively bring children back to Yiddishkeit and spiritual health.
For regular youth, the Rebbe has provided a clear path. In Der Rebbe redt tzu Kinder, the Rebbe speaks directly to children under Bar and Bas Mitzvah, teaching them how to defeat the Yetzer Hara so it won’t bother them anymore. In a recent article, Mrs. Gillie Shanowitz started a conversation about maintaining high Chinuch expectations, providing the motivation and pathways to make this the norm.
However, for crisis youth, I’ve often heard unconventional suggestions: parents buying their child the drugs he’s taking to show love and connection, or taking him to a secular event when they normally wouldn’t, among numerous other unconventional ideas.
I watched Shimshon Stock, AH, telling a story of him and the Rebbe that exemplifies an effective approach.
As a child, he had been pressuring his friend, who was in the middle of serving the Frierdiker Rebbe, to hurry up. The Rebbe, who was present and noticed, asked what the rush was, and Shimshon admitted he wanted to go to the movies. The Rebbe suggested to them that they instead learn together Kitzur Shulchan Aruch in the evenings. During the time that followed, the Rebbe would engage him in conversation, guiding him to understand that being more frum was ultimately in his best interest.
This story is a gem for “Crisis Chinuch.”
Firstly, the Rebbe drew the child close rather than dismissing him as lost due to upbringing or influences.
Secondly, the Rebbe did so without lowering standards.
If the Rebbe had offered to go with him, would Shimshon not have lost respect for the ideals the Rebbe represented? Instead, the Rebbe drew him close through an appropriate activity, spending extra time with him. Then, through their conversations, the Rebbe showed him that being more frum was in the child’s best interests.
This reflects the Rebbe’s broader message about bringing people closer to Torah: don’t lower Torah for the sake of the people. When we lower our standards to build a connection with our children, we risk confusing them about our identity and core values
Of course, to convey such a message effectively over time, we need to live it ourselves and see it reflected in our own lives. As recently highlighted in a story shared on Anash.org, the Rebbe emphasized that being an example of Yiras Shomayim is essential for educating our children in Torah values.
At the same time, we need to connect with the child, understand where they are, and show them – through casual conversation – how Yiddishkeit is meaningful for them at their level.
COMMENTS
The subject of how to handle struggling youth requires serious expertise and experience. Most of us have probably heard of the suicide rate among that population. We’re dealing with bonified pikuach nefesh. If you haven’t worked and succeeded with at least several kids, you are not qualified to give an opinion. Professionals have it hard enough convincing the parents what to do without ignorant pontification posted on the internet. Such articles make it harder to guide parents and endanger the lives of the youth. No layman in their right mind would think of dispensing medical advice, especially in a public forum. Why would anyone dare to state an opinion without experience in the field? How do I know the writer has no experience? By reading what she wrote!
I would love to hear passionate rebukes like this when people start giving their own opinion about CH Eruv.
You should be very happy if all you’ve experienced in life is so far removed from the facts on the ground, that you think this article describes reality, and, in addition, describes a realistic solution. I bless you all that you never know the facts on the ground relating to the meaning of “crisis” in the term “Crisis Chinuch.” I hope you never experience a child who loathes their life so deeply, that they contemplate ending that pain by ending . . . every bodily sensation and awareness . . . in the most final way possible השם ירחם. Unless, this plague is not deemed dark enough to qualify as crisis.
Truth be told, the article reads as if it was written – not by the pseudonym that appears – rather by a bochur who, having already done so himself, “knows” how he’s going to raise his future kids in line with what it says in Der Rebbe Redt Tzu Kinder, and his future children IYH will know how to defeat the Yetzer Hara so it won’t bother them anymore. I hope this proves very successful.
As for “Calm Down Tzaddik,” Its noteworthy that an Eruv in CH is compared with the notifications of young people who’ve met their Maker by way of self-induced termination. Unless you skipped that part in the comments you’ve apparently read first.
I also wonder about the editorial choice of posting this article . . .
Did The Rebbe ever support lowering standards (going with the child to non Jewish entertainment, or bring them drugs that can be dangerous to health etc)? The Rebbe dealt with many many people covering many situations- aside from the story referenced above, does anyone know another approach The Rebbe gave us?
If you don’t know how the Rebbe would respond to this specific case, still doesn’t give you the authority to decide based on one instance!
The Rebbe said many times that what applies to one doesn’t necessarily apply to everyone. And the Rebbe said to consult with Professionals!!