ז׳ כסלו ה׳תשפ״ו | November 27, 2025
‘40 Years of Sichos, and You’re Asking for My Vision?!’
“Years ago at a campus Kinus,” shliach Rabbi Raleigh Resnik opened his talk at the Global Women’s Chinuch Event. “Mr. George Rohr was taking questions when a shliach asked him, ‘What is your vision for the future of shlichus on campus?’”
At the recent women’s chinuch event hosted by the Merkos Chinuch Office, celebrating 50 years since the Rebbe launched Mivtzah Chinuch and introduced the 12 Pesukim, meant to guide children through real-life challenges, Rabbi Raleigh Resnick, Shliach of Tri-Valley in Pleasanton, CA, spoke about their significance today.
“Years ago at a campus Kinus,” Rabbi Resnick opened his talk, “there was a session where the beloved patron Mr. George Rohr was taking questions.” In the middle of the session, a shliach asked him, “What is your vision for the future of shlichus on campus?”
Mr. Rohr, in his gentle and unassuming way, answered simply: “We have 40 years of the Rebbe’s letters and sichos, and you’re asking me for my vision?” The room, Rabbi Resnick recalled, erupted in applause.
Rabbi Resnick spoke about a tragedy in Crown Heights 21 years ago, when two girls drowned in camp. The camp director desperately needed someone to speak to the campers about pain and loss. She had to make a choice: Would she choose someone well-versed in Adler, Jung, Viktor Frankl, and the latest trauma research? Or would she choose a chossid steeped in the Rebbe’s teachings and imbued with Yiddishkeit?
The Rebbe teaches that Torah is a living guide not only for halachic shailos, but also for “that child who is overwhelmed… who feels anxious… who feels outcast.” Our instinct should not be, “What does the new research say?” but rather, “What does the Torah say?”
“When discussing chinuch or shlichus, the first place to look is the Rebbe’s Torah – not contemporary theories or trends,” he declared.
That understanding leads directly to the 12 Pesukim the Rebbe asked every child to learn and live with. They are not theological ideas or slogans. They are calls to action – battle cries meant to mobilize children, to give them strength and purpose.
Rabbi Resnick paraphrased how the Rebbe would speak to children: “A child must know that as big as his mother and father are, the Eibershter is greater, and you have the privilege of being His eternal creation.” When spoken with love and in a pleasant manner, this truth inspires a child to want to serve Hashem properly.
To show the contrast with today’s language, Rabbi Resnick typed a question into ChatGPT: What would modern educational experts advise for a child who feels ashamed of mistakes? The answer came back with phrases like “validate their feelings… normalize their struggles… encourage self-compassion.”
“But the Rebbe’s message is different,” he said. “No, we don’t accept your failures. You are in Hashem’s army. We need you to win. Try harder. Yogati u’Matzasi.”
It’s not about dismissing a child’s pain, he explained, but about giving them strength. With confidence in Torah, confidence in the Rebbe, and confidence that the 12 Pesukim truly are the foundation for raising strong, healthy, grounded Jewish children, we can guide the next generation with clarity.
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COMMENTS
Normalizing struggle is so basic.
The Tanya does that before getting into the chapters of the purpose of creation.
Feelings are important to are avodas Hashem
Change my mind.
Normalizing struggle to quite your conscious or guilt, might make you feel good, but it won’t make you grow in avodas Hashem.
The goal is for a person to rise above themselves. Yes, children need to know it’s okay to struggle. But they also must be told that we believe they have the power to rise above their struggle and win their yetzer hara.
The overemphasis on “normalizing struggle” has produced a weak generation that can’t handle any challenge. They’re busy normalizing and destigmatizing their struggles to others and to themselves.
I don’t understand why so many people strive to create a dichotomy between Psychology and Torah, when in reality, the two perspectives can be harmonized. The Rebbe was not a fanatic who disbelieved in psychology; countless times he recommended that people consult qualified therapists.
How can they put words in the Rebbe’s mouth, claiming his message is ‘you cannot fail’ or ‘you just have to try harder’? These messages can be very dangerous if taken out of context.
Chassidus teaches us that the main thing is the constant struggle, the desire to become better; it’s not about reducing life to winning or losing. We are all going to fail, and often. 99% of Yidden in the world try to do their best; sometimes we succeed, and other times we fail.
As a Mechanech, I would never tell a student that they cannot fail, or that they failed because they didn’t try hard enough—that is a totally harmful idea. We can teach them that life has challenges, that failing is part of the journey, and that we don’t focus on the failures, but on staying on the path to becoming good Chassidim
I agree very much with this comment. But at the same time those of us who are protesting against the promoters of this false dichotomy must understand their motivation and where it is coming from, in order for our points to be taken seriously. They are bothered by the fact that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. Matters and values which are contrary to Torah and Chassidus have infiltrated the lives and weltanschauung of Chassidim.
Meaning: everybody understands that there are areas that are solely the domain of Torah and Chassidus and likewise there are situations that ought to be seen mainly within the framework of mental health. The field of mental health itself recognizes that there are many aspects of a person’s well-being that are influenced for the better by spiritual and religious devotion.
In other words there is a large area where religion and mental health overlap. Therefore, since obviously there are an untold number of perspectives and beliefs in the mental health world that are not in line with the hashkafa of Torah and Chassidus, despite the vital importance of taking advantage of the major advances in treatment of mental illness, there is a certain amount of rabbinic discretion required when doing so.
Moreover, there is a distinction between seeking medical intervention for treating an illness versus using discoveries in the world of mental health to improve one well-being and productivity. The spiritual risk one may take to heal a sick individual is not the same risk Torah would permit to take to better one’s functioning.
When ideas in the mental health world are being promoted not as treatment, rather as alternatives ways of handling spiritual malaise, especially by unlearned individuals, the pushback can be understood. The other side of the coin is the danger of giving the false impression that all of psychology is contrary to Torah, thus causing well-meaning individuals who desperately need help to avoid availing themselves.
Rabbi Resnick is merely quoting the Rebbe’s words to the children explaining to them why he is including the Possuk Yogati in the 12 Pesukim.
Here is the quote (Lag B’omer 5736) … perhaps you’ll change your mind:
“If a child comes and starts to think that there was a time in his life when he did something he should not have done. He should not be dejected because of this or, G-d forbid, be weakened in doing, in learning Torah, or in performing mitzvahs.
And if he’ll ask “but there was a time when I fell short”, he should review the saying of our sages in the Gemoro “if you didn’t toil and were successful – don’t believe him”.
Meaning, if he didn’t find the ability and strength to act appropriately as define by Torah and Yiddishkeit, it is certain that he didn’t toil and put in the necessary effort.
Because – as the beginning of that same saying of our Sages teaches – “if you toil and weren’t successful – don’t believe him”.
If he would only toil it is certain that he would be successful.”
I agree.
Validate them, and believe in them that they will grow.
BH
Very beautiful article and super imortant for all of us parents and mechanchim to take to heart.
Validating feelings and Yogati are no contradiction at all.
I have been teaching Tanya to women for ten years, spcifically to frum thrapists, teachers and mothers.
The way I understand is that the two nefoshos is such a chiddish. The nefesh Habehamis can have all types of debilitating human feelings like shame. guilt and sadness. We identify them as noraml and human. The nefesh HaBehamis isnt bad, it is just klipas noga. Yet we use hesech hadaas to move away from these natrual normal feelings and serve Hashem with the truth of the nefesh HaElokis. Normalise, validate (very short) and then rise above to serve Hashem.
Know your behaima, know its strengths and weaknesses and then harness it for kedusha. Harness your behaima, dont ignore it or try kill it. azov tazov imo.
What comes to your mind (all negative thoughts and midos) are not in your control, dwelling on them is the problem. We validate them as normal human nefesh habehamis feelings and then transend because the nefesh HaElokis is connected to infinity.
All those who dismiss modern psycology, without pausing to see if it fits with chassidus should ask themselves hard and true if their marriages and children are healthy and thriving or still have room for improvement. Modern ideas are part of the tachton and the chutza, we need to bring the light of chassidus into those ideas (the ones that are klipas noga), not ignore them. [we can also be sure that some of the modern ideas are not in line with chassidus at all]
It all sounds very nice and true and emesdik. And i do agree with the fact that Torah needs to be at the forefront.
Yet i find that anything ever posted about Rabbi Resnick is always some sort of agenda of pushing away psychology.
Only modern psychology is not the approach either, but we can use the tools and research that has been developed to help us.
The Rebbe was clearly not against psychology based on the amount of times the Rebbe suggested to people to go see a professional.
First and foremost is Hashem, the torah and the Rebbe’s horaos. If there are tools available that can help us be more aware about our feelings that Hashem gave us, by all means. This helps us be more intune, kind, and aware of others.
I just find that any time there is an article about Rabbi Resnick it is 99% of the time the same agenda decorated in different ways.
Every speaker has the issues that they koch in. It happens to be that this is a major issue nowadays.
You write as if the Rebbe regularly referred people to psychologists. This is misleading. Over 99% of the time, the Rebbe told people to add in bitachon, increase their Torah and mitzvos, and strengthen themselves against their yetzer hara. In a very small number of cases, the Rebbe sent specific people to a doctor.
Lesson: Not everyone needs a doctor.
Regarding using the “tool” of psychology: The problem is that psychology is not a crude tool like a hammer (which can also conditions people to see “nails” everywhere). It carries an entire narrative about who we are, what motivates us, and what we need. It is an extremely difficult task to separate the “wheat from the chaff.”
Something might not have the מעלה of חסידות but that doesn’t make it against chassidus. If u get a flat tire , trying to cope by telling yourself “at least it’s not raining” isn’t against chassidus. But it doesn’t have the מעלה of Chassidus. Chassidus tells you cope by saying “this is Hashgacha Pratis and it’s SUPPOSED to happen. It’s the “hidden good” which is so lofty that it comes into the world disguised as misfortune”.