Comments on: Why I Won’t Be Judging Your Chof Av

By: G.

G. — Fri, 22 Aug 2025 17:02:37 +0000

In reply to Dys.

The Rebbe didn’t go because it was behind the iron curtain and not possible.
Besides for it being extremely difficult to travel that far even nowadays.
The Rebbe also did not leave NY.
also there is a Halacha that if one did not go to the kever of a parent for seven years they may no longer go.
That is besides the fact that the Rebbe sent Shluchim there throughout the years even when it was a long journey from the place of the original Shlichus.
In 5751 the Kinus hashluchim of that region visited ohalim of the Rabbeim in Lubavitch and Rostov and the Rebbe told them to end it on chof av with a visit to the ohel in Almaty.

By: Dys

Dys — Wed, 20 Aug 2025 17:01:33 +0000

The Rebbe didn’t go because the Rebbe was busy running the whole world. However, going to kvorim of tzadikim is a big thing that should never be frowned upon but rather only encouraged. When the Frierdike couldn’t go back into Russia he went to kivrey avos etc.. in Israel instead.
Moreover, in the middle of the summer ben haznanim if an individual or a group for that matter are planning a vacation trip and device to go to such holy places that’s truly wonderful!

By: So what

So what — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 18:30:58 +0000

In reply to not exactly. The Rebbe once asked a Bochur if he fasted before he went to the Ohel and the Bochur said no. the Rebbe said "Hashem should have Rachmanus on you"

By: NON JUDGEMENTAL

NON JUDGEMENTAL — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 17:02:22 +0000

ב”ה
In the name of tolerance…
Perhaps we should allow for all expressions of hiskashrus including one that does guide with a clear voice what is or is not appropriate.
Could clear guidance also possibly be related to hiskashrus?
even if there those who may not agree with everything being said?

By: not exactly

not exactly — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 14:39:58 +0000

In reply to I think the minhag comes from goyim who don’t eat or drink prior to visiting a cemetery.

the goyim would fast before going to a cemetery and doing their kishuf etc. which is why fasting is darchei haemori
lehavdil, in zohar (thats said in maane loshon) it talks about the difference the way yidden go to a beis hachayim vs goyim, and one of the things it mentions is fasting.
we therefore look for ways to fulfill the zohar and fast, without compromising on the darchei haemori issue, and we do that by not eating but yes drinking.

By: A crucial point

A crucial point — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 07:13:53 +0000

The author is missing a crucial point.
The issue is that it’s becoming a trend. The definition of a trend is “a general direction in which something is developing or changing”. That is not an individual hergesh, it’s something that in the authors mashal the mashpia would have to deal with head on. More importantly, a trend means it’s not the persons hergesh, he’s following the fashion, which leads to social pressures and it becoming the norm of what a chssid does. Isn’t it amazing that in the last 5 years so many chassidim woke up one day with the same hergesh! Or is a trend being developed?
On a different note, the premise of this article – that when a person does something misguided but connected to Kedusha then only encourage etc is very questionable. I sometimes think it’s the reason we loose so many youth. Nothing is real and true, it’s all Shtik and people see through it. Yes we need to encourage and praise etc but we also need to guide.

By: Not convinced

Not convinced — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 06:41:43 +0000

The Rebbe was happy when people visited R’ Yisroel Aryeh Leib in Tzfas but would the Rebbe be happy when Yeshivos spend a full day going and go make it a ‘trend’?
I’m not so convinced. (Nt coming from a place of justification for not going, I did go this past yortzeit)

By: Two Cents

Two Cents — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 05:11:31 +0000

It’s one thing if someone is saying that a person shouldn’t spend money they don’t have on a trip to Almata or that people don’t go for the right reasons, but to have a good time etc. But how can someone say that going to R’ Levi Yitzchak is “doing whatever you feel” and not a valid way in hiskashrus? Would the Rebbe not have nachas from Chassidim visiting his father? Especially since he himself was not able to go? This is not like other kevorim. The Rebbe wanted to connect us to his father’s Torah, and if one has the opportunity, it is certainly a big zechus to visit the Ohel in Almata. The Rebbe was very appreciative when Chassidim went to RYAL’s kever in Tzfas.

By: I think the minhag comes from goyim who don't eat or drink prior to visiting a cemetery

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 02:22:02 +0000

In reply to אג"ק ח"ט ע' שא. Hence, the Rebbe encouraged us to at least drink, not to mimic the goyim c"v

By: אג"ק ח"ט ע' שא

אג"ק ח"ט ע' שא — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 01:33:10 +0000

In reply to Don’t go into unchartered territory !!.

מסתם ווייסט איר די מנהגים ווי מ’פירט זיך ווען מ’גייט אויפן בית החיים אויף קברי אבות, זיין אין וואסער בו ביום, טרינקען פארן גיין, אבער ניט עסן, וכו’.

confirming the idea that fasting isnt unique for the Ohel, its for any kivrei avos, reagrdless of “holiness”

By: Misplaced Remains Misplaced

Misplaced Remains Misplaced — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 01:13:46 +0000

Funny enough, the mashpia story you brought actually backs up the other side. The mashpia called the bochur’s shtick “misplaced” and said with time he’ll be guided to the right path. That’s exactly what the first article did with Alma Ata – it said the practice is misplaced, but without chas v’shalom throwing stones at the people. You spun the story into a license for “do whatever you feel” and called that Chassidus.

By: Don't go into unchartered territory !!

Don't go into unchartered territory !! — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 01:11:57 +0000

A whole Chossidis life and derech avodah isn’t made up themselves, it’s following what the Rebbe does.
The Rebbe would fast before going to the Ohel and surely would fast if going to his father’s kever. Yet, no one does it. You know why? Because it’s a rich people summer fine dining and concert experience, making some people money, and not as a genuine form of Avodah

By: What Chassidus Actually Teaches About Individual Avodah

What Chassidus Actually Teaches About Individual Avodah — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 01:05:09 +0000

To add: When dealing with yungeleit, the system was always personalized, Reb Hillel Paritcher would entrust each newly-arrived yungerman to different approaches based on their individual needs. The whole point of Chassidus is recognizing that hiskashrus takes different forms for different chassidim.

By: ben yehuda

ben yehuda — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 00:36:31 +0000

Very good!