“Somewhere in between is truth” yes! Thank you Zeesy!

you talk of ‘free spirited teens’ and a ‘playground led by contemperary professionally led judaism’, this has a whiff of ‘nisht kin’ authentic genuine chasidishkeit.

what is contemporary professionally led judaism? is it something that takes getting educated outside of the world of chassidus?

does contemporary mean a cover word for ‘dont be so fanatic’?

i dont know, but the gist of this comment seems to be coming from not a very authentic place.

i dont think that we need proof from the outside world, in order to affirm that the torah ideals are true.

and i dont think that people getting trained in places outside of the genuine chasidishe atmosphere, are capable of transmitting these values.

i feel that there is a weakness in the demand for authentic yiras shamayim in the training of our teachers, and that yidishkeit should be taken happily and wholeheartedly embraced

That’s exactly it! A postive approach is the key! If we give them Torah and Chassidus in its purest form without fear, while making it practical, accessible, and applicable, then all they need is our guidance and encouragement. But if a kid is wearing sneakers and you tell her to change shoes, that’s criticism. You can find a way to address it in a way that’s sensitive to her feelings of you feel it’s necessary, but the approach in this article doesn’t sound very individualized to the girl. And if a kid is having a hard time with something emotionally, it’s not a crime to try to accommodate and work with them. It shows them love and care from the very people who love and care about Torah and Chassidus and serves to bring them closer.

You are confusing criticizing with empowering. The two are vastly different. Criticizing is putting a person down, empowering is lifting them up and showing how you believe in them.

Learn from how the Rebbe empowered his chassidim. He didn’t let them take it easy, but he tasked them with the most important mission, telling them how it was up to them and they could do it.

By the time a kid is a teenager, there’s no such thing as demanding of them. They can very easily say no and walk away, and they have the chutzpa to do it. We need to treat them like human beings and guide them, but boss them around. When was the last time you were criticized without asking for feedback and actually appreciated it?

For whatever reason, sneakers in general are very very in style these days and not at all limited to the way you and I think are worn. Like a lot more. Even so called formal settings.

I agree with your article a lot but personally I would let the sneakers on shabbos slide.

Just my humble opinion.

Thank you Mrs. S. for using your voice.

I do agree that sneakers on shabbos is not on pat with the other things.

The first idea is the main thing. But if you strongly believe in your values, and you believe in the ability of your students/children, you will demand it of them. Not in a mean, authoritarian way, but in a confident mentor way. Like a good athlete trainer who won’t let their student take it easy.

It’s not about running home like a camp. It’s about showing children strong leadership. Of course, it looks differently in the warmth of a home and family than it does in a school or camp (which can also vary depending on the size of the camp).

The point is to be proud of the values and tell them the truth. Show them that you believe in them and their ability to succeed. Don’t treat them like fragile wimps who can’t do anything, or else they will become just that!

The children from frum homes feel like they are second class (crazy, right?)

We can give benefit of doubt and say that the teachers / principal are good Lubavitchers who prefer to give attention to less frum people, but this isn’t a Chabad house and if you took the job at a Lubavitch school please don’t ignore the good kids.

Is the point to be open and honest about Torah and Chassidishe values, or to encourage a more heavy handed approach to chinuch? These seem like two separate issues being mushed together in this article as if it’s the same idea.

Personally, I can get behind the first idea much quicker than the latter. Therefore I’m having trouble deciding whether I appreciate this approach or not.

At home on the other hand, each parent must use their best judgment on what each of our own kids need.

I am referring to normal families, not parents who encourage their children to rebel and defy the rules in school etc.

Thank you Mrs. Shanowitz for articulating what I was feeling all along. Your article is a “must read” for all mechanchos.

Thank you for being a voice of clarity in a confused playing field.

Of course, they need to see authenticity and feel connection. But that doesn’t mean letting everything go. They want the challenge and they want to see that you care about what you stand for.

Once upon a time, preaching standards and forcing them to keep them worked. And now we are saying, that kids need more than that. Connection. Authenticity. So yes, kids these days have changed. For the better!!! They want the real deal.

It’s easy to manipulate 14 year olds (more or less) to listen to you and to rules. The real question is- what will they look like when they’re 20. Is this approach bringing them to build chasidishe and healthy homes?

I’m curious to hear from parents who have married off most of their kids and are chasidish and stable people to tell us what they did. And let’s not forget- they had siyata dishmaya!

All parents are trying their best. I think if it was so black and white, every parent would know exactly what to do.
There are points here that I agree with. We shouldn’t lower our standards. Structure and rules are crucial. Teaching what is right and wrong is a non-negotiable.
However, life isn’t that black and white. Sometimes I wish it was. We need Hashems help in raising our kids. Hashem should help all of us and give us all the clarity that we need in raising the next generation of beautiful souls.

Mrs. Schanowitz does not seem to advocating for “boot camp”.
She is stressing that our children are open, ready, and thirsting for real Torah, and chassidus, and separately, authority who keeps to rules.
Sometimes it’s misplaced chessed to cater and modifyinstead of expecting our children to step up to the plate.
In today’s day and age, “sometimes” and turned into “often times”