If we follow the logic—and the theology, true but misapplied—that “no human being can cause another to lose his life,” then even a murder wouldn’t be considered the cause of death. That’s absurd. You’re proposing a false binary: either the bully fully murdered the victim, or had no role at all. But reality doesn’t work in absolutes.

Let’s stop playing semantics. The truth speaks for itself. Of course, the bully didn’t intend for the victim to die, and he didn’t purposefully kill him. But he did contribute to a situation where someone with a preexisting vulnerability was pushed to unbearable pain and made a tragic decision. That’s not distant. That’s a role.

Bullying has a well-documented pattern of triggering emotional collapse. It’s not some vague, indirect influence—it’s a known evil that can drive people to the edge. When someone is already struggling, cruelty can be the final blow. To deny that is to ignore both reality and responsibility.

1. Important to speak to one’s mashpia.

2. Everyone closely involved in what happened: for example, all family members, schoolmates, including those who participated in and/or witnessed the bullying, as well as witnesses to the tragedy, need to speak to a trained professional. Does not have to be from our community. Has to be a trained professional who can hear. This is very doable now with zoom.

Maybe, but unfortunately in a lot of cases and a lot of yeshivas, hanhala turns a blind eye. Tuition in mesivtas are over 15k and hanhala sometimes feels like it’s not their responsibility! Time to wake up and realize the tremendous achroyis, poshut they are holding lives in their hands!

The bully is only responsible for his actions. The person who took his life is responsible for his actions. The bully is not responsible for the victim’s actions. That is a false premise that causes only harm. The bully should take responsibility and accountability for his actions and commit to doing better. Feelings of shame and guilt are terrible, unnecessary and nothing good comes from it. It’s too heavy to carry that load and it’s not even true in the first place. There’s a letter of the Rebbe where he writes clearly that no human being can cause such a thing to happen. Of course that doesn’t mean do whatever you want. Everyone needs to take ownership over HIS OWN ACTIONS

Just so you know, many of the bullying cases happening in Yeshivah is directly coming from parents and beyond the ability of the Hanhalah to sort-out. we as a community need to show respect for others.

1) does the writer know that many murderers suffer from mental illness or were in the “wrong state of mind” and regret their actions. would any sane government excuse murder because of their remorse or ignorance?!

So too in emotional bullets, when one’s actions cause pain and death, one needs do know what their actions caused and take responsibility for it.

2) This is the second death in the past two years cause from bullying, if not more. unfortunately, many great writers whitewashed the previous one, as writers are doing in this one.

One thing is apparent that these writers’ haves no clue about the complexity of bullying in a school setting and its effect on students. therefore, these writers better just keep quite and not pave the road for another death.

3) I call on our Rabbonim to rally together and fight this epidemic, which is very deep.

Yes, bullies too will eventually need to move on with their lives. They may become different people—perhaps the kind of people the victim’s soul would want to forgive. But to simply shrug off the crushing weight of responsibility by saying “nothing directly caused it” feels out of step with the true evil of severe bullying. Accountability matters. Redemption is possible in the end of the tunnel, but it begins with facing the excruciating truth.

Never the less important, since if people percieve their action causing this result and feeling bad for it, you will inevitably cause someone who is bullied to feel – ah, thats going to get them back and feel bad. This mindset needs to be strongly prevented, and therefore wisely elaborated by rabbi brod.

While people can’t necessarily be blamed etc., I don’t think it’s a mistake to do a חשבון הנפש as they are doing. While they should not feel like they directly caused it, it is important to realize that actions can have a much stronger effect on a person than those around him realize. This is a reminder that even if it seems inconsequential, the difference between something like saying א שווערע ווארט or keeping it inside is a lot more than what we see. It may not cause something directly, but it can trigger something we aren’t aware of.

For some, this isn’t a phase, it’s their life’s story.

“Ask for help?” Ask who? Where? over 30% of those who need help, don’t get the help because they don’t know where to start. And asking friends comes with shame, so they are stuck.

Who’s paying?

“Life is always worth fighting for”, although that is true, more then enough Frum jews have been fighting that fight for to long and just couldn’t continue. Can we judge them? C”V!

Lots are still fighting that fight and need their friends and family’s help. Be open for their signals, and reach out!

May his Neshama have a peaceful and Lichtigeh Gan Eden!