the issue is that unfortunately instead of mashpiem being Mashpia – the inyanim of the mamar how or sicha how you see it in your life and how we can relate to it in all aspects and struggles, the tend to try to explain the mamar and all the ways of understanding it.
don’t get me wrong of course we should learn chassidus ‘as is’ and understand what the rebbe is saying, not what i am saying , But after that we need to understand how it can also be lessons to ourselves in a lot of areas
not just the initial horah of the mamar about the inyan i.e. of bitul hoalamos… which don’t get me wrong is very important and could be beikar what is gono help the student, but show him how you can learn lessons to your specific circumstance from chassidus just like you can from any part of Torah ‘ki ham chayanu …’
And when we have more of this there will be a understanding that Chassidus is not there just for my mental health but I really could take lessons from it for my matzov now (and not take away the kedusha of chassidus) with out ‘grazing in foreign fields’ and hopefuly are yeshivos will join bord with helping our youth actually navigate their emotional wellbeing not just get 100’s on test. hatzlacha! mashiach now!

The Rebbe set this up already by encouraging people to have and be a mashpia. Many role models are happy to listen and give practical Torah tools to work with. However, therapists do therapy as a job, and that’s why they can give significant time every week if needed. Mashpiim are generally volunteering and that’s beautiful. However if someone prefers therapy because they’ll have a weekly session for half hour or more, they can easily get the same from a mashpia if they offer to pay the same way as therapy is paid for.

Also, with a mashpia you can get real Torah tools that will help empower you and the issue will stop taking up space in your life (as long as you’re willing to put in the work) whereas therapy often has people paying for years and years, they feel good with the attention but haven’t moved past the issue

You misunderstood my comment. It is the nature of the brain to feel calmer and less fearful when it knows it has allies and is receiving support. Unless one is a Tzadik from Tanya their brain will experience support as a desirable thing, and feel less hopeless. The avoda is realizing that the true help comes from Hashem not from people. Just like the Avoda of someone getting financial support is to see his financial security because Hashem is helping him and not from the natural support of humans. A person in tremendous financial distress Does not have that advantage, and will require more effort to maintain Bitachon. But if the person who is receiving the support insists that it does nothing to help him maintain a hopeful mindset and that it would require only the exact same effort to maintain the same hopeful mindset even without the support, then they are delusional (and/or ignorant of neuroscience.)

I think the main issue why people are turning to therapy or other approaches (as one commenter mentioned NHA) is that when someone is dealing with intense emotional challenges it is very hard to focus on Chassidus if you’re not very learned or you just don’t know HOW to apply the solution from Torah.
So they turn to therapy and other such approaches that literally hold your hand and help u get through the issue.

I think instead of people complaining that people are going to therapy or other approaches we need to be creating more courses based on Torah and Chassidus. We should have “therapists” that help thier clients get through emotional issues through Torah.
Many people are turning outwards because they simply don’t know how to turn the words in a maamer to practically help them in thier challenges.

In order to do sur mera we need ase tov.
Let us see more people who have the talent to understand Chassidus and Torah and know how to make it applicable use this for coaching and hand hold the masses to be able to and want to turn to Chassidus before anything else!
Yasher Koach to all those chasisdim who are already doing this holy work!

Relaxation and writing is not goyish per se. But when one resorts to these pareve things INSTEAD of using the challenge as a springboard to come closer to Hashem and grow as a person (and it doesn’t even address the root of the issue as noted), THAT is goyish

Shaar HaBitachon takes the exact opposite view. Recognizing social support is not a complement to Bitachon, it is the antithesis. It discusses how to view the role of those through whom Hashem works, but any thought that their action (or inaction) can help or hurt is poison to Bitachon.

In his book he describes actively dismissing those “encouraging” thoughts, only taking comfort from the support in that the Ahavas Yisrael they represent was a real keili for Bracha and that the support and positive developments could be seen as indications that Hashem was helping him…

Writing out your thoughts is inconsistent with Torah? Muscle relaxation is inconsistent with Torah? This is such shtusim and am ha’aratzis. It’s a perfectly Kosher technique of calming one’s anxiety. The message of Bitachon is easier to hear when the body is calm. (And a yid must know that it works because Hashem is making it happen, not because of nature.) I challenge u to find a Chasidisher Rav who disapproves of journaling or muscle relaxation.

Our values come from Torah. But we can learn techniques from technical non-Torah places, as we can regarding nutrition even though our food/eating values come from Torah.

Completely agree, couldn’t agree more!!

That’s a great idea of paying a great mashpia, because sometimes one feels bad to be taking so much of their time..

How many of us automatically recommend “therapy” to anyone struggling with life, marriage, self image etc? People don’t even realize that they’re imbibing goyishe ideology which will not help them be a successful Yid.

Just today I read a booklet I saw in my house (!) arrived with the mail, on how therapy helps with everything… to give one example- for anxiety, they recommended writing it out, relaxation techniques etc

That will not get to the root of the anxiety.

The root is fear and the antidote is that Hashem is in charge and all He does is good. So nothing bad happens to you, and He wants you to daven to change it if it’s not your preferred good…

Just one example. Choose a great mashpia instead of a therapist, book and pay for weekly sessions if you need lots of time etc

The Rebbe emphasised many times that impressioning on a person an issue and giving them the message or feeling that this is who they are, will actually make them see themselves that way even more and it is untrue and detrimental

Often the best way to get out of it, is by empowering the person to get better and not emphasising the issue (see many Rebbe letters)

The younger generation is INCREDIBLE, they are literally ASWESOME and so POWERFUL,

We need to teach them and guide them and bring them to their greatest amazing potential

One must be careful how ones speaks about them or sees them – when one see them for what they really are, they will become that!

Titles like these, show a detrimental view, and doesn’t empower them

Yes one might be airing the issue but being that this is a public forum and many youth will be reading this, it’s important to speak to them with belief in who they are and empowerment, not denigration or labeling..

Rather then embellishing the issue, and labeling the person with it,point them in the right direction!

Yes chetzi Refuah is Yedias Hamachla, but when it comes to healing the machla one has to take this approach

This goes for everything..

Really excellent article though, thank you!!

Absolutely excellent article, wow really needed point and explained very well!!

One can take it from Rabbi Rubashkin who spent 8 years in -a place called prison- who knows full well and (unfortunately) experienced great nisyonos that what gets you through life is the chassidishe teachings, our inner make up, that gives the greatest of strengths.

All this secular rubbish which people idolise demoralizes and devalues the inner human worth that each person and Yid has, being a creation of Hashem and insane power, and value

Dealing with a lot young people I fully agree with all this

Schools need to make a point of explaining to students how all the ‘lofty’ concepts being taught are real things and the best and most true and beautiful way to live our lives, it must be explained very well, extremely clearly and brought down, so that they understand

All this secular stuff is so damaging

I was shocked to hear that even in the best of seminaries, they garner points of social emotional living from places antithesis to Torah and much of what they are teaching literally goes against the values of Torah!!

This is being fed to our youth in some places, and the non sharp students (or too young to understand fully) don’t understand or see an apparent contradiction and it literally ruins so much!!

Rabbi Rubashkin, perhaps you can write a set of points (and publish it), that can be taught in schools, showing their source or how we see them from Torah (and maybe add how could be the secular world sees it and opposite to Torah and how its so not the truth, I’m not sure if the Rebbe would want this second bit, why explain, but maybe to just show how it’s different to what the secular world believes)

Mechanchos and schools it’s really time to get this straight because it’s our job to teach the next generation, empower them with the gifts and truths of Torah

(I’ve seen often its actually some mechanchos and principles own fault, they don’t actually believe or understand this…I’m not quite sure how they became the principles or mechanchos of Chabad institutions..)

Students be aware, filter through, is this actually based on Torah, challenge your teachers,

We need to highlight, endorse in the Chinuch system, the kids who have middos Tovos, and true Yiras Shomayim, and that will be what kids look up to and emulate, not the ones who are self centred or mean.. I find sometimes (more recently) that they endorse often the latter..

We really need to develop this, because a lot of times people find themselves in a crisis or really difficult situations, and they’re looking for help, to soothe the pain, for a way out, to cope- go forward in life

And because it may be a little underdeveloped or unexplained to many people they go to goyishe institutions or ideologies which really dont actually help, often they create so much more damage…and besides it’s not what Torah holds

So even if there is a measure of help there, its not creating a truly happy person, sometimes it damages them, numbs them, makes them not think straight, become more selfish, disrespectful and self absorbed – all literally against Torah…

And this affects their families and the people around them…

And it’s such a shame, Torah gives the best way of life, the happiest, most empowering and all in all the truth..!

There are some very good books which bring down Torahs and Chassidus real hashkofa, we need to get them and explain them really well to people

The point of the article is that there’s a fundamental difference between the cookbooks. Not only are the recipes different, not only are the ingredients different, the entire purpose and perspective is different.

To try to squeeze this into your analogy, some cookbooks are written with an eye towards reducing calories, impact on the environment, etc, while others have as their goal maximizing hedonistic pleasure and showing off opulence and excess.

There is a need to say it as long as there are people taking values from the secular world (professionals, internet)

This commenter seems to have an ax to grind or a living to make. No need to keep making the same point multiple times on every article.

Life is not a chocolate cake. It’s much more complex and touches the heart and soul of Jewish living. We call it a neshama.