Encouraging that a kid share his toy, when maybe the child doesn’t yet feel a sense of self, is actually against Torah and what the Rebbe stands for. A Mechanech (like it says in Klolai Hachinuch Vehadracha, and in the Rebbes Torah) needs to understand the mehus of the child and educate accordingly.

If a child feels a sense of self, and feels like he has, then he can be encouraged to give (like the Rebbe explains according to the 12 Pesukim etc)

But this Chinuch needs to be done on a foundation of love, security and first with the child feeling a sense of belonging and that they have something that is theirs. After that they can give.

Many parents and educators are dangerously leaving out this fundamental Yesod (which is 1000% a yesod the Rebbe taught is imperative when it comes to Chinuch) and just super encouraging their child to share etc

I think this is important to understand.

Also, in regard to the idea of Yetzer Hora, I think there is an unspoken attitude of the Rebbe that by empowering children they will come to understand how to battle the Yetzer Hora, and make those choices. But to play on a child – this Yetzer Hora Yetzer Tov narrative , I personally don’t think this is how the Rebbe wanted it to look like. You don’t want this idea becoming a source of resentment for a child.

Meaning this is a concept that we teach to children, but at the same time for a parent to play into that, I personally don’t think is healthy and what the Rebbe had in mind.

So we empower children to listen to the Yetzer Tov, but empower not to guilt trip.

The concept is 1000% the correct concept but how a parent or mechanech should implement these concepts in my opinion must be done in an empowering way rather than spiritual black mail.

This correct approach of the Rebbe in regard to the attitude of how a child needs to be educated needs to be implemented properly not Chas vesholom in an unhealthy way, otherwise this becomes a source of tremendous hurt in the child, which the child will ultimately come to resent and reject (understandably) growing older

Also, for a child, psychologically , if you keep emphasizing that they have negativity in them, they’ll follow the negative.

So it’s really important that of course we teach Nefesh Hoelokis, nefesh Habehamis, Yetzer Tov Yetzer hora, and the child will use these concepts to win a battle in a situation when they’re challenged, but I think it’s super important that when you’re in education you educate your child to do the right thing.

When they have a battle, know that you need to fight the Yetzer Hora. But that’s a war statergy, not the Yesoid of every day living for a child’s education. Meaning as parents we should be inculcating the right values to our children, so that they will be educated to behave as moral, upright and chassidish people. And along with that the concept that when they are challenged don’t give in to Yetzer Hora.

But to not give them a strong Yesoid of education of what the right thing is, and only bring up this concept of ‘listen to your Yetzer Tov, I don’t think is right.

So the example this mashpia gave in his article about his child and Negel vasser, has to be explained in context.

Was this child taught about not touching things before Negel vasser. Does he have a positive Yesoid of wanting to do the right thing and feeling in general good about life and Yiddishkeit.

If yes, and the child still had a strong urge to do something before Negel vasser then I would maybe bring in that concept.

But in my opinion, there should be an education to do the right thing. The more we make our children feel loved and good, the more they will be super happy to do the right thing.

I think knowing and being taught these concepts, Yetzer hora Yetzer Tov, the child on their own will be encouraged to make the correct choices,

But I think parents got to be careful that in a situation where you kid is challenged, to play into their personal Yetzer hora Yetzer Tov is emotional and spiritual manipulation.

You can either discipline, and tell them what the right thing to do it, but I would be very careful saying things like ‘do you want to make Hashem happy?’

If a child is not emotionally up to that, you’ve used Hashem to manipulate them. It couldnt get worse than that.

So absolutely of course to teach them this Derech, empower them with these concepts but be careful how you bring it in when disciplining and educating a child in a given situation

It’s very bad when mashpiim don’t explain this part, and encourage less gifted parents to start implementing the Rebbes Torah in a toxic manner to their kids

Unless someone can explain that I’m wrong and that the Rebbe had something else in mind, I actually this I’m correct in saying the above

Feedback would be appriciated, perhaps the mashpia can clarify

I hope that was just sarcasm

I see the value in using alternate methods, like Yismach, in cases where a child is deliberately unwilling to admit that they would be unhappy if something they had was taken from them.