Comments on: Can We Talk About ‘Shidduch Reference’ Calls?

By: Excellent

Excellent — Mon, 28 Nov 2022 08:51:15 +0000

In reply to Moish. I couldn't agree more.

By: Moish

Moish — Sun, 27 Nov 2022 16:47:03 +0000

In reply to Agree.

Yes, please identify your self!
You’re asking me to give inside information to a stranger?

There’s nothing “wrong” with you calling about my friend, I don’t know if it’s for your child, friend, or relative. Why shouldn’t I know who I’m talking too? “Because you don’t feel comfortable” but I’m meant to feel comfortable giving a stranger sensitive information?

If you want me to be open and you’re trusting me about my friend, then you have to be open too and also trust that I won’t spread that you called me.

I also have to trust you that you won’t spread things that i said. How can I have that trust when you’re anonymous?!?

I don’t see how I can be open, honest and have trust when the person calling isn’t.

By: Agree

Agree — Sun, 27 Nov 2022 13:37:34 +0000

I wouldn’t require a text before the call, although that would be nice.
Also I think it makes sense that people don’t want to identify themselves. But, when you call, dont just say “hi, is this Mendel cohen?” Instead, say “hi, I’m calling in regards to a shidduch for you friend yankel tudress, are you mendel cohen”
This way people don’t feel like they are answering a scam call.