To be honest, it’s posts like yours that continue the abuse (yes, abuse) and emotional manipulation of our young unmarried daughters and sons who help out on shlichus.

As someone who has been burnt by a shliach (more than once!), contracts are an absolute must– and if you don’t think that they need one then I have a bridge to sell you. I’ll be the first to say that if a shliach refuses to give you a contract, run. Fast!

And yes, I am on shlichus. These are YOUNG ADULTS that we’re talking about! Diamonds from HKBH, that we have the precious opportunity to show what a beautiful, well-rounded shlichus looks like. And that starts in the home of the shliach, treating these young adults like real people, taking the time to meet with them and help them grow, caring for them like one of the family.

Looks like you are venting with anger!!
Just saying !!

Very true, but that’s another thing that you could make a article for *5 tips for the Girls* (That they should appreciate the Shlucim buy them gifts…), But this one is not for the girls it’s for the Shluchim… And No they do NOT mean any harm C”V rather, sometimes due to the fact that the dedicated Shluchim are working so hard they may tend to forget the needs and psychological care those under them need, & that’s why the author who is writing this is not demanding [or threatening] as that would be counter productive and would not help with the point of the that’s trying to be brought out….

However, the author does identify as a burnt out post sem girl, so it’s not like we expected the most mature content here

I have 5 daughters who have all gone on shlichus and yes all these issues and more could’ve been prevented by this info. Thank you.

To quote another comment “The principle of going out one’s הגבלות one should apply to oneself, not to someone else.” This applies equally to the girls/bochurim going to help a shliach.

Expecting gifts? I am sure they would be appreciated – but precisely because they aren’t expected!

A proper contract is a wonderful idea, but the implication is that anything not explicitly agreed upon is too demanding. Perhaps gifts should be included in the contract as well? Obviously that is ridiculous on its face. And appointing an intermediary? That is certainly excessive for a short-term, temporary position.

In person meetings can be immensely valuable at times – but it is widely agreed (in the “working” world) that they are usually a tremendous waste of time and resources with few clear benefits. Shluchim have very limited resources already, asking them to spend more seems unwise.

Of course the last two are no-brainers – although the last is a thinly veiled threat.

What is left out, however, is what the shluchim *do*. How much effort did they put into feeding, housing, etc? Were the shluchims efforts appreciated? Rememeber, this is a *shlichus*, not a glitzy internship in a multi-million dollar corporation. The shluchim are putting in their heart and soul, and if they occasionally don’t provide the high level of comfort the girls are accustomed to, perhaps the soul-searching needs to be on the part of the young people?

Frankly, yes, one should research a makom hashlichus before accepting an opportunity, and, yes, that might include how much they spend on chanukah gifts. If what you hear is not what you expect, you will probably both be better off not engaging.

If there are issues during the year, make an effort to figure it out. You are an adult, and just as you expect to be treated as such, behave that way as well.

Shlichus is an incredible opportunity and privilege that the Rebbe has given us, and not always is it as glamorous as it sounds.

Most importantly, if you have constructive feedback, find a way to provide it to the shluchim directly (or if necessary through an intermediary). Don’t resort to backhandedly slandering hundreds of hard-working and dedicated shluchim when a therapist would be a better recourse.