Yes. That is what I meant.
Thank you.

Obviously, I didn’t mean to say that you should choose your spouse, the way you choose your business partner. What I was bringing out from that example, is the idea of focusing on what’s really important in a marriage. (Which many think is the feeling good part. Which is not true. We do not get married to feel good. We get married to build a bayis ne’emon biyisroel. True, in order for it to work, there needs to be המשכת הלב etc.

The Rebbe wrote three books to guide everyone ..
“Eternal Joy”by
Vol 1…Shidduchim
Vol 2… Engagement & Marriage
Vol 3…Married Life & Shalom Bayis.
How come they are Never Mentioned (anymore)??

As the Rebbe famously wrote, hamshachas halev is NOT romantic feelings.

I think the commenter meant that the MAIN way to ascertain compatibility is to see that your values and goals line up. Of course, there must be an emotional interest, but real emotions will take time to develop.

That is why Yidden have always put values first and feelings second, while by goyim it’s about feel good now, and then they break up when it’s no longer fun.

In marriage you need המשכת הלב. in a business partnership you don’t.

There are various elements to a successful marriage. A sense of Friendship is one of them which is a crucial.

The point being made here is that that is not what marriage is about, looking for another friend. It is about building a bayis neemon biysroel. The idea is to look for a partner with whom to work on this project – of building a house – together with. Obviously, (nowadays) they need to be compatible with each other and their personality, but that isnt the focus.

Just like you dont go into business with someone that makes you feel good, but rather with someone that has the qualities that you need for that business. In addition, one of the requirements can be that you get along well. But remember what is the main thing you are looking for.

I want to emphasize that the “pedestrians” passing by and looking at the externals of the shidduch during your engagement and marriage will forget all about you soon enough. When you marry, you close the door and live with the person for the rest of your life. A flashy appearance, charisma and “what people will think” don’t matter a bit behind your closed doors. Choose a good, frum, kind, stable spouse (whose “looks” you appreciate) and live a happy life.

You shouldn’t tell Hashem who your bashert should be…

People need to be able to think a little out of the box.

This was the case both with girls who married temimim, and with bochurim from not Lubavitch backgrounds who married Lubavitcher girls.